Are You There, Friends? It’s me, Sarah

(Alternate titles: “Everyone IS Hanging Out Without Me!” or “Seeking a Friend For the End of the Term”)

HI Club Swim and greetings from DC! I’m currently sitting at my desk in my lab on my lunch break (10:50 AM), and I mean it when I say I miss you. Although the leftover pizza I am eating is far more delicious than yet another New England salad from KAF, I miss our grim FFB lunches from last term. Sharing the grim with Thuy-Vy, Jacob, Kimmy, Rachel, Khoa or Nan always made the salad taste much better.

Right now, I feel like I’m in a second adolescence — that is to say, awkward. My dad calls my lifestyle “adulting junior” because although I am living at home, I am faced with adult lifestyle tasks such as commuting, cooking for myself, and making friends in the real world. The first two are going great–I can make fish like nobody’s business, and the buffalo chicken soup I made for my brother’s high school teachers was deemed the best of the selection (suck it, other PTA moms!). The Metro has proven to have excellent people watching — for instance, today I saw a grown-ass man reading a book called The Greatness Guide…in public! One day I hope to have that sort of humility. 

But the third “adulting” task, making friends, I have not knocked out of the park. Yes, I get lunch with my co-workers every Wednesday after journal club, and yes, they all pity-laugh at my horrible jokes, but it isn’t the same as being with close friends, like you all on club swim. For instance, if I made a joke like “collar? I hardly know her!” at Dartmouth, Thuy-Vy would have looked me straight in the eye, deadpan, and told me to shut the f— up. I need that! It keeps me in line!

Last weekend, I went with my cousin to a birthday party for a guy I’ve met a few times. I was having a great ole time until around midnight, when I got insatiably hungry (plus I recognized absolutely none of the music they were playing…where the hell was Mr. Brightside?!). So I knew the late-night phase of the night had arrived. But shockingly, none of these near-strangers were willing to leave the party with me at Cinderella’s hour to grab a slice! I was outraged!! Not really, I was more sad and wistful. I had to work to keep it together in the Uber — ‘don’t cry, Sarah, don’t cry! Don’t think about how Matt would have definitely grudgingly come to LNC with you and then returned to play pong until the wee hours as you went to sleep…your Uber rating is too important, now is the time if any to be a strong woman…5.0 or die trying!’

Besides revealing how neurotic I am about my Uber rating (and slipping my perfect Uber rating in there, yeah, I have a 5.0, what of it?), these stories really pinpoint what I miss most about club swim — friends that are literally always there for you. I know that even if I’m late to practice or skip the swimming part all together (let’s be real, I’m on this team for Hop dinners, the practice is just some sick sort of pregame), I’ll be welcome at dinner or the next social event, or to just show up at Matt’s apartment and do homework on a Sunday afternoon.

But even this term, I know my friends aren’t far. When I came to visit the first weekend, Campbell walked all the way across campus in -5 degree weather, despite safety warnings against prolonged exposure to cold, just to meet me for lunch. Michael, for God knows what reason, has agreed to live with me off-campus next term (get ready for the Club Swim Education Center!). And Jacob, our beloved tour guide with all his insider-information on admissions, talked me through the trauma of my little brother’s Early-Decision deferral (if anybody from admissions happens to be reading this, David Miller is an excellent candidate and you should consider his application strongly).

And as I finish my pizza at my desk, I’m looking forward to my visit this weekend for Winter Carnival. When Kimmy texted me to remind me about this blog post (thank you, I totally would have forgotten otherwise), she invited me to a club swim social event, despite the fact that I have been to exactly zero practices this term. I’m so lucky to have a team (friends) to get me through these trying times.

Lots of love and see you Friday,

Sarah

PS: flitz me if you want my buffalo chicken soup recipe, Sarah.B.Miller.19@dartmouth.edu 😉