Dartmouth to Replace ‘Good Sam’ Policy with Natural Selection

Dartmouth to Replace ‘Good Sam’ Policy with Natural Selection

After spending several decades as a core part of Dartmouth’s alcohol and drug policy, the Good Samaritan clause will no longer be in effect, President…

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Area Fraternity Member Promises His Frat Isn’t Like the Others

Area Fraternity Member Promises His Frat Isn’t Like the Others

Speaking from his pong table last night, local nice guy and fraternity member Simon Reynolds claimed his frat isn’t like the others on Webster Avenue….

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"Oh, you're writing a thesis? I wrote 95 of them, bitch" by Martin Luther

“Oh, you’re writing a thesis? I wrote 95 of them, bitch” by Martin Luther

Oh, you’re writing a thesis? Well, I have some news for you. You may be writing a thesis, but I wrote 95 of them, bitch….

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Giant Pile of Ice Joins Class of 2022

Giant Pile of Ice Joins Class of 2022

A giant pile of ice has been accepted to the Dartmouth Class of 2022, according to Admissions officials who released application decisions on Thursday. The…

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Pulse partners with new sponsor, the Lord Almighty

Pulse partners with new sponsor, the Lord Almighty

The popular survey app Pulse announced today that they have partnered with God, the omnipotent being that has existed since the beginning of time. “We’ve…

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Making a difference: This Dartmouth student found a used condom outside her dorm and nursed it back to health

Making a difference: This Dartmouth student found a used condom outside her dorm and nursed it back to health

Every student at Dartmouth has witnessed the all-too-common scene of an expended condom lying on the sidewalk. The problem is usually framed as a public…

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I Am the Darth Vader Snow Sculpture. It Has Been Three Weeks, I Have Seen Some Shit, and I Am Ready to Die

I Am the Darth Vader Snow Sculpture. It Has Been Three Weeks, I Have Seen Some Shit, and I Am Ready to Die

You cruel bastards. You heartless sons of bitches. You all brought me here with smiles on your faces and joy in your hearts, you made…

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A Plea for Valentine's Day

A Plea for Valentine’s Day

Valentine’s Day means different things to different people. For many, it is a joyous day of connecting with the people they love. For others, it…

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