James Comey Updates His LinkedIn

James Comey Updates His LinkedIn

On May 12th, 2017, The Honorable James Comey, Former Director of the Federal Bureau of Investigation, was seen updating his LinkedIn page. After President Trump…

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“Now Is The Time To Come Together, Rise Up, And Fight Back,” Cry Student Groups Characterized By Exclusivity And Historic Privilege Within The Dartmouth Community

“Now Is The Time To Come Together, Rise Up, And Fight Back,” Cry Student Groups Characterized By Exclusivity And Historic Privilege Within The Dartmouth Community

Hanover, N.H.—Over the past couple of weeks, two fraternities tired of being brutally, personally victimized by the heinous acts committed by their own members have…

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Republicans Heroically Pass Plan to Avoid Catastrophic Overpopulation

Republicans Heroically Pass Plan to Avoid Catastrophic Overpopulation

  On Thursday, Republicans in the House voted to pass the American Health Care Act that would, they say, prevent mankind from suffering the tragic…

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Despite Record Levels of Diversity and Achievement, Incoming Class of 2021 Contains Some Complete Assholes

Despite Record Levels of Diversity and Achievement, Incoming Class of 2021 Contains Some Complete Assholes

HANOVER, NH — In an exciting moment for prospective and current students, faculty, administrators, and alumni alike, Dartmouth’s admissions department sent acceptance letters to 2,092…

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English Professor Nabs Posh Office in Hop Broom Closet

English Professor Nabs Posh Office in Hop Broom Closet

Adjunct Professor Robert T. Wade of Dartmouth’s English department recently snagged a luxurious office in Janitorial Closet 102 of the Hopkins Center. Wade, whose former…

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Keith, Just Added to Study GroupMe, Thinks He Has the Right to Add Two Friends

Keith, Just Added to Study GroupMe, Thinks He Has the Right to Add Two Friends

All was normal in the “Anthro 28 Homies” GroupMe until earlier today when the class study clique decided to add Keith to the chat. The…

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Dartmouth Voices: Uber comes to Upper Valley

Dartmouth Voices: Uber comes to Upper Valley

Uber has begun to operate in the Upper Valley area, The Dartmouth reported last week. We asked students what they thought.   “Great, this will make my…

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Report: Your missing fracket doesn't want you back

Report: Your missing fracket doesn’t want you back

Each weekend night, Dartmouth students’ Facebook feeds are flooded with emotional requests for the return of a lost jacket. Students often discuss the phenomenon of…

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