My name is Carolina Martinez and I am a case study.
Although I grew up in an “untraditional” family setting, I think I turned out alright. Growing up, I remember not being able to understand why my parents were not together, but I never asked why. It seemed like a nonissue; one that was very difficult to deal with when it seemed like everyone else’s parents were happily together.
All the families around me always seemed to be “perfect”; there was a mom, a dad, two kids, a dog, and a house with a white picket fence. They all lived together in the same house and never appeared to have any problems. For a very long time I longed for this “perfect” family. I longed to live in a world where both my parents “stuck it through” and stayed together; a world where my mom didn’t leave my dad.
For awhile I secretly blamed myself for my parent’s divorce. The night before my mom left my dad I had fallen off the bed and cut my forehead open with an open drawer. We all rushed to the hospital to get me stitches, but all I remember was going back home in the morning to find my mom telling me to pack my stuff to leave the house. I was only five at the time and I was worried that my trip to the hospital was the cause of my mom’s abruptness to leave my father, but nonetheless I got my things and left with her. And just like that mom was out of my dad’s life.
My whole childhood I longed for a picture perfect family; a family where I didn’t have to move from place to place and where my parents were happily married. But you never realize what you have even if it’s staring you in the face. In reality, I had the best family a child could ever ask for; I wanted something I couldn’t/didn’t have even though what I had was ten times more perfect.
I am a child of divorce, and although I am not representative of the whole divorced children community, I consider myself very lucky for being born into the family I was born in.