Dear Dartmouth

An Undergraduate Publication

My Two Cents

Student Life | 0 comments

Written by Anahita Kodali

September 28, 2020
Dear Dartmouth, 

When I came out in the ninth grade, I was met with a wide variety of responses. The most predictable was from my sister, who hugged me and then burned my Minecraft house down in retaliation for a prior battle. The most perplexing was from a teammate on the swim team, who told me that she supported me but also that she “didn’t believe in gay people.” The most calming was from my research partner, who looked at me, eyes glazed over from a long night of literature review, and simply said “okay.” Suffice to say, I’ve had my fair share of odd reactions. For the most part, they’ve been positive. The vast majority of the people in my life didn’t care about my sexuality, and, to be honest, before I came to Dartmouth, neither did I. There were always more important things at the back of my mind – school, debate, research, sports … 

While I was lucky enough to avoid the homophobia that many of my LGBT peers have experienced, I also felt a disconnect from the LGBT community. I learned to accept that I was gay, but I was never one of those gay people; I avoided queer clubs, I tried to associate myself with mainly straight people, and I shied away from conversations that required me to think critically about my identity as a gay woman. I knew that I was gay, but it wasn’t something that I actively thought about, and for the time being, simple acceptance was enough.

That all changed when I got to Dartmouth. I’d never actively hidden my identity, but during my first weeks on campus, I met students who proudly displayed their sexuality in a way that I never had. Seeing pride flags flying outside of Phi Tau and hearing pronouns mentioned orientation groups was jarring; for the first time in my life, I was surrounded by a group of LGBT students who embraced who they were. And, more than just the LGBT community, I found that the greater Dartmouth community as a whole was a place that, above all, valued kindness and respect. The allies that I met amplified the voices of the LGBT students around them and welcomed them into their circles with open arms. I realized that at Dartmouth, being LGBT wasn’t just something that the community accepted. It was something to love, and soon enough, just accepting my own sexuality wasn’t enough. I wanted to be out and proud, and thankfully, I was able to do that. 
Over the past few months in quarantine, I’ve found myself reflecting on my experiences with Dartmouth and my fellow students. I was hit with the realization that somewhere along the line, I became one of those gay people. I harass my Twitter followers with gay jokes. I have my pronouns in my Instagram bio and a pride flag displayed proudly next to my name on my spam. I am loudly and unapologetically queer, and I’m happier than I ever was in high school. However, recent conversations and forays into the purgatory that is Librex have shown me that while the community overall may be a respectful place that fosters growth for LGBT students, issues with homophobia are still pervasive at Dartmouth. I’ve had to grapple with what that means for me and the rest of my LGBT friends on campus in the coming terms.
As we enter the 2020 – 2021 school year, we will be faced not only with the regular challenges of college but also with the realities of class in the middle of the global pandemic. We will have to deal with the struggles of zoom classes, of having friends across the world in different time zones, of harsh administrators, and of unstable Internet connections. It will be incredibly isolating and, at least for me, will present the biggest challenges that I will have had to overcome since coming to campus. Yet, through all of this, the bonds that we have formed with our peers – both in person and virtually – will hold. If there is one thing that will remain of the traditional Dartmouth experience, it will be the Dartmouth community.
Now, we need to consider the values that we want to uphold as a collective and commit ourselves to building a truly inclusive virtual community This means actively fighting back against homophobia – or, for that matter, bigotry in any form – if we see it. The value of the Dartmouth community and experience comes from the relationships that we have with each other, and especially this year, our peers will be the most invaluable resources we have to get through the trials that COVID has brought with it. Though it may be a trite and overused saying, if you see something and you’re in a position to speak out, use your voice to say something. Your peers will thank you for it.

I leave you with this message: our community builds its strength not from geographic proximity but from the positivity and love that we foster, and there is no place in it for hateful rhetoric of any kind. I’ve found a home at Dartmouth that I never thought I would be able to, and by working to make Dartmouth a kinder place, every student will be able to find their people, too. 

Yours truly,

Anahita

Featured Image by Jason Leung on Unsplash

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