Looking ahead, I’ve applied to DACA, (Deferred Action for Early Childhood Arrivals). I was supposed to get it by November, but because of the government shut down, it’s going to be delayed for a while.
Even when I do get my citizenship, I always have my undocumented identity that will never leave me. It is something that has been imprinted in me. Its like what my life has been based on in every single decision I have ever taken up to this point, that I will take next year and when I graduate. And a year after that, it will be based on that thing—being undocumented. You know everything my worst fears are from being undocumented, and my greatest achievements come from overcoming that issue.
I won’t stop being an immigrant to this country. It’s been a very self-reflecting process, always thinking in what ways I have changed. I’m in a no man’s land. I considered myself American, and I consider myself Mexican, and I don’t how these two are necessarily separate. It has been really hard for me to try to redefine what being American means. So I come from the conclusion that American means Mexican, just like American means any other ethnicity, race. That is what I’ve come to finally see: I don’t like identifying myself as Mexican-American nor do I like identifying myself as Mexican solely. I am Mexican comma American. So I am both, and one at the same time.