Resources to Support #BlackLivesMatter and Black Voices in Comedy

Resources to Support #BlackLivesMatter and Black Voices in Comedy

The staff of the Dartmouth Jack-O-Lantern is outraged by the murders of George Floyd, Breonna Taylor, Ahmaud Arbery, Tony McDade, and the countless other Black…

Read Article →
Plywood Shortage Escalates As Dartmouth Students Build Pong Tables En Masse

Plywood Shortage Escalates As Dartmouth Students Build Pong Tables En Masse

BREAKING NEWS: A nation-wide plywood shortage has caused deforestation rates to hit an all-time high. The cause of this extensive environmental damage has been traced…

Read Article →
Op-Ed: If Alive, FDR Would Beat this Virus, But He’d Also Have Sex with his Cousin

Op-Ed: If Alive, FDR Would Beat this Virus, But He’d Also Have Sex with his Cousin

Many are saying it is high time for Mr. Trump to look back to Franklin Delano Roosevelt’s example to deal with COVID-19. That said, we…

Read Article →
Classy Student Converts Dick Pic to PDF Before Sending

Classy Student Converts Dick Pic to PDF Before Sending

Chase Jenkins ’21 has stepped up the dick pic game by converting his jpgs to pdfs before sending, a much classier and sophisticated alternative to…

Read Article →
Letter to the Editor: Can We Stop Talking about Michael’s Erection?

Letter to the Editor: Can We Stop Talking about Michael’s Erection?

After much reflection, I have found my conscience requires me to bring to light a grave wrong in our community. This injustice was apparent upon…

Read Article →
Man Convinced that Girl Replying to Canvas Discussion Dropping Mad Hints

Man Convinced that Girl Replying to Canvas Discussion Dropping Mad Hints

The following is an excerpt from the official Jack-o-Lantern advice column, “Jack-o-Landing that Lady.”   Dear Auntie Jacko,           I think…

Read Article →
Heartbreaking: Ethan’s Mom Won’t Hit his Juul

Heartbreaking: Ethan’s Mom Won’t Hit his Juul

As part of our series about college students adapting to life at home, this week we interview Ethan, who has had to deal with the…

Read Article →
Dartmouth Student Having Same Amount of Sex as He Would on Campus, None

Dartmouth Student Having Same Amount of Sex as He Would on Campus, None

The COVID-19 pandemic and subsequent national stay-at-home orders have disrupted the social and romantic routines of millions of Americans. These unprecedented circumstances have hit particularly…

Read Article →