6 Quick Tips to Lose Weight and Stick it to that Bitch, Julie Sanders

1.       Get Motivated:

Poor body image can lead to vicious cycles of low self-esteem and weight problems so to get motivated and show up that skinny whore, start your day by telling yourself something you are good at and how you can use that skill to make Julie’s life a living hell.  Things like talking to yourself constantly or screaming naked in front of a full-body mirror can help you get motivated, get healthy and get even.

2.       Ditch the Drugs:

There is no silver bullet to weight loss.  Some “miracle drugs” you see advertised can be completely useless or can even cause serious digestive problems.  This includes psychiatric drugs so if you are on any medication, quit it and tell Dr. Kaufman that HE’S a danger to himself and others.

3.       Get Active throughout the Day:

Many people are discouraged by excessive workouts so space out your workouts for an added boost.  Take the stairs, go for a jog or stalk Julie and Ben on their date.  While biting your fist, take solace in the fact that he doesn’t love her as much as he loves you.  He could never love her as much as he loves you.  Never.

4.       Steal that Slut’s Things:

Sneaking in to Julie’s room while she’s sleeping the day before a deadline and taking her computer can burn up to 300 calories, depending on whether you have to run for it.  For an extra workout, stand over her bed, clenching and unclenching your hands, and watch her as she sleeps, contentedly dreaming about stealing someone else’s man.  Ideally this will result in Julie failing her all her classes and transferring but that satisfaction alone of sticking it to that bitch can give you the extra push you need to lose weight and feel great!

5.       Get Your Antioxidants:

Adding antioxidants to your diet can help you burn fat faster and provides you with essential nutrients.  Whole grains, berries and teas are all rich in antioxidants and a berry smoothie makes for a delicious after-workout treat!

6.       Hit that Bitch with a Bottle:

If all else fails, knock that bitch out.  After a little time in lockup for aggravated assault, you and your prison-sculpted abs will be ready for beach season!

41 Comments on "6 Quick Tips to Lose Weight and Stick it to that Bitch, Julie Sanders"

  1. Here are some other (maybe more significant) ways:

    Increase your water intake
    Stop eating bread
    Snack on fruit, not snacks
    Eat regularly, do not overeat

  2. Here are some other (maybe more significant) ways:

    Increase your water intake
    Stop eating bread
    Snack on fruit, not snacks
    Eat regularly, do not overeat

  3. Any good tips to lose weight are valuable these days with our Fatso Nation. Move more and eat less = weight loss. Let’s shoot for a 1947 look! Check some old movies to see how we should look.

  4. Any good tips to lose weight are valuable these days with our Fatso Nation. Move more and eat less = weight loss. Let’s shoot for a 1947 look! Check some old movies to see how we should look.

  5. It is usually one of two reasons we make a decision to lose weight. Either we have an event coming up in a few months…a wedding, a graduation, or (gasp) a high school reunion, and we’ve just got to get in shape. Or, and this is more serious, we’re sick, we go to the doctor, and he tells us that we are going to get sicker yet if we don’t lose some weight.

  6. It is usually one of two reasons we make a decision to lose weight. Either we have an event coming up in a few months…a wedding, a graduation, or (gasp) a high school reunion, and we’ve just got to get in shape. Or, and this is more serious, we’re sick, we go to the doctor, and he tells us that we are going to get sicker yet if we don’t lose some weight.

  7. nice articles to know. many people nowadays try to take efforts to gain weight loss. this article is really helpfull…

  8. great tips on weight loss…….. ya sure motivation must be there through starting of weight loss program till end,then you can complete weight loss program,,,,,,,,,,,,

  9. Love your post, especially the “prison sculpted abs” part. I don’t think weight loss need be that painful of an experience. I think with the right mindset, anyone can drop 10 or 20 pounds easily, and more. It all comes down to how much you want it and what you are prepared to do to get there.

  10. Instead of drinking a lot of very sweet drinks you should switch to unsweetened green tea. This is better because it has no calories at all unless you add sugar and it can be consumed hot or cold. Green tea is also a natural fat burner.

  11. Write down your ten favorite, healthy dinner recipes on index cards. These will make up your top-ten low-cal meal deck. List the ingredients that you need on one side of the card and the recipe instructions on the other. These should be tasty, simple, stress-free recipes that you can make without a lot of hassle.

  12. Write down your ten favorite, healthy dinner recipes on index cards. These will make up your top-ten low-cal meal deck. List the ingredients that you need on one side of the card and the recipe instructions on the other. These should be tasty, simple, stress-free recipes that you can make without a lot of hassle.

  13. Haha great article!! I found that for me motivation is a huge factor in losing weight. But number 2 ditching the drugs is so hard. Especially with every celeb endorsing the next best fat burning pill. Ugh! You really just need to fill up on water, watch what you eat, and get off your butt. 🙂

  14. I like your writing style, I couldn’t help laughing at some of the ways you suggest to lose weight. How about sending her some free meal vouchers at macca’s.

  15. If you are trying to lose weight than you should try to eat balanced meals. If you follow a balanced diet then your body will stay in an optimum weight loss zone where you can shed weight very quickly. And having a balanced diet is a must if you are trying to have a flat stomach.

  16. I can’t tell you how many times I have tried to lose weight. I have followed a number of weight lose programs and have not been successful. My problem is not what you write about here in this blog. My problem is as I lose the weight, I lose a tremendous amount of energy. I need energy to make it through the day. Does any of your readers have this problem? Can you wright about how to solve the energy lose problem when losing weight?

  17. very nice tips … great thinking by author that he shares all these best weight loss tips with us… thankx very much for this very helpful post…………

  18. I have been telling my readers the same thing about these so called “miracle drugs”. They just dont get it.

  19. I have been telling my readers the same thing about these so called “miracle drugs”. They just dont get it.

  20. How come you don’t mention how many times a day to eat that would be a good tip. I would like to share my weight loss tip. I ate 6 small meals a day and lost many pounds in a 3 month period.

  21. mediation helped reduce crime in schools, saved counselor and administrator time, enhanced self-esteem, improved attendance and encouraged development of leadership and problem-solving skills among students.

  22. Thanks for the diet tips you have posted. nice tips. if I may suggest diet by regulating the diet. so eat a day is 2 times with a period of 6 hours. so should not eat for 6 hours but beyond that can only drink water only. without soda, sweeteners and so forth.

  23. The feeling that you are fat. Very annoying, but do not give up, and there are several ways you can help and are very good and recognized by many people successes with them, I advise you to purchase and at the same time not No. helps any supernatural product that determination and a strong desire were not you have to be in the best case
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  24. The feeling that you are fat. Very annoying, but do not give up, and there are several ways you can help and are very good and recognized by many people successes with them, I advise you to purchase and at the same time not No. helps any supernatural product that determination and a strong desire were not you have to be in the best case
    You are not weak and can resistance, which owns its success are no different from you only determination
    You can login here and read the subject and after the Enter link to buy the video to see the explanation and understanding of the product

    Weight Loss

  25. I reckon something special in this Your website

  26. tanks for your tips on weight loss tips..

  27. Thanks for the informative article! I will share this to my friend

  28. This is just amazing. . thanks for this

    Read My ” Weight Loss Articles

    Thanks again

  29. These are some great tips because you are not just waiting for some miraculous weight loss elixir to come along and magically make your extra pounds disappear. You are taking control of your body and doing the things that will cause it to lose the fat. Just one question, who is Julie Sanders and what did she do that is so wrong?

  30. Tip # 4 Steal her things, I am interpreting to be running, which is a great weight loss exercise. If you steal something, you know you have to high tail it out of there, so running is my take from that. Tip # 6 Knock her out, I am interpreting to be boxing as a great workout. With running and boxing you will burn calories, reduce your appetite, and keep your metabolism in peak state to assist in your weight reduction efforts. Very interesting way to phrase those two tips.

  31. Tip # 4 Steal her things, I am interpreting to be running, which is a great weight loss exercise. If you steal something, you know you have to high tail it out of there, so running is my take from that. Tip # 6 Knock her out, I am interpreting to be boxing as a great workout. With running and boxing you will burn calories, reduce your appetite, and keep your metabolism in peak state to assist in your weight reduction efforts. Very interesting way to phrase those two tips.

  32. Thanks for the diet plan guidelines you have published. awesome guidelines. Reducing bodyweight can be incredibly hard but it’s also very value it in the end! but I would like to bring up the bad results of alcohol on our bodyweight. Alcohol is like toxins and if someone wants to shed bodyweight then all they need to do is to keep liquor for good and improve their drinking habits. Work out everyday and the most important of all.

  33. Thanks for the diet plan guidelines you have published. awesome guidelines. Reducing bodyweight can be incredibly hard but it’s also very value it in the end! but I would like to bring up the bad results of alcohol on our bodyweight. Alcohol is like toxins and if someone wants to shed bodyweight then all they need to do is to keep liquor for good and improve their drinking habits. Work out everyday and the most important of all.

  34. I think its very informative post and very to the point. To loose weight you need to be motivated and drink plenty of water, you should make it a daily effort to drink atleast 3 letres of water. Don’t change your eating habit all at once other wise it just wont work out change it over time and slowly. the tips on your website are very helpful

    Thank you
    Kristen Combs

  35. I never thought that you can lose weight if you jail. I think there you have time to give weightlifting. :)))))

  36. I love the “get motivated” section! Nothing can get you motivated like getting a little pissed off lol

  37. I love the “get motivated” section! Nothing can get you motivated like getting a little pissed off lol

  38. Love the article. Great tips and rather humorous at times. I absolutely agree with ditching drugs for weight loss. There is no magic pill.

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