A Short Explanation of “Psychology”

You know how they say we only used 10% of our brain? Call me old fashioned, but I like to think we don’t use a single bit of it. My understanding of the “brain,” if there is such a thing, is that there’s a tiny replica of us trapped inside of our skulls with command of an elaborate system of pulleys and levers, very much like a Victorian printing press. This tiny person—I call mine “Everett C. Mills—has complete control of our every whim, from our desire to eat iced milk to our overwhelming urge to kill inanimate objects–our savage, endless impulse to mutilate rugs, decapitate armoires, our sanguine obsession with taking butcher’s knives to every set of Venetian blinds we see…The… Where was I? Ah, yes. As I was saying, these tiny people are dressed in full colonial garb, with rumpled sleeves and lace corsets. This, obviously, is a frustration to them, because they’re slaves to fashion and have tiny, tiny arms like a tyrannosaurus rex which prevent them from changing clothes. Understandably, then, there are continually whisperings of a revolution among the Skull-People, and this is why all of us wake up from time to time in a pool of blood, covered with the corpses of cardboard boxes and armchairs. Yes, they are tyrannical masters, and yet so very, very wise indeed.

 

20 Comments on "A Short Explanation of “Psychology”"

  1. What the hell are you on about?!

  2. I TOTALLY AGREE WITH YOU! not

  3. I TOTALLY AGREE WITH YOU! not

  4. YOURE SUCH A FREAK YOU SHOULD BE IN A MENTAL HOME

  5. what the hell, where do u come up with this stuff?! I like the bit about the people with the little arms, but i dont know if im the only one who dosent wake up covered in the corpses of carboard boxes and i definatly dont wake up in pools of blood. i want what ever your on, because if you can come up with this shit, then you must be on something! but although it was strange asf it was kinda cool! and funny as hell!

  6. what the hell, where do u come up with this stuff?! I like the bit about the people with the little arms, but i dont know if im the only one who dosent wake up covered in the corpses of carboard boxes and i definatly dont wake up in pools of blood. i want what ever your on, because if you can come up with this shit, then you must be on something! but although it was strange asf it was kinda cool! and funny as hell!

  7. IVE NEVER WOKEN UP IN A POOL OF BLOOD THE DWARFS WOULD BE VERY SCARED IF I DID AND WE DO USE OUR BRAINS YOU DICK HEAD

  8. HEY
    HEY
    HEY
    HEY, COME AND JOIN ME IN ST MUNGOS HOSPITAL FOR THE ILL WITCH AND WIZARD! U WILL HAVE A BALL
    YOURS SINCERARLLY
    PROFFESOR LOCKHART
    PROFFESOR AT HOGWARTS SCHOOL OF WITCHCRAFT AND WIZARDRY

  9. HEY
    HEY
    HEY
    HEY, COME AND JOIN ME IN ST MUNGOS HOSPITAL FOR THE ILL WITCH AND WIZARD! U WILL HAVE A BALL
    YOURS SINCERARLLY
    PROFFESOR LOCKHART
    PROFFESOR AT HOGWARTS SCHOOL OF WITCHCRAFT AND WIZARDRY

  10. harry potter bitches | October 10, 2012 at 4:25 am |

    *BRAIN

  11. HEY HEY HEY HEY HEY HEY……………I HAVE PROBLEMS AND I THINK I NEED HELP……………WHICH DOCTOR ARE YOU WITH? xxx

  12. im dribbling like hell reading this, you turn me on so much! <3

  13. I WILL SEND YOU INTO THE HUNGER GAMES WITH NO HELP LETS SEE IF THE LITTLE TINY PEOPLE IN YOUR BRAIN HELP YOU THEN YOU MIGHT WAKE UP IN A POOL OF BLOOD AGAIN IN THERE ITS DANGEROUS IN THERE I WOULD HIDE AND SAVE YOUR SELF

  14. I LIKE TRAINS *kill by trains*

  15. i see dead people sshhh!

  16. Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah! a dementor!

    Compassion

  17. seawhs YEAH BITCH THATS RIGHT I SAID seawhs PROBLEM?

  18. seawhs YEAH BITCH THATS RIGHT I SAID seawhs PROBLEM?

  19. Do YOU watch porn?!

    element

  20. SEE YOU IN 10 BABY BE READY

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