The next time I saw Sherlock Brolmes, he was doing the Walk of Shame across the Green, wearing nothing but a deerstocker. He had texted me earlier simply with “PNTS.” I handed him a pair of fresh pants. He put them on with considerable difficulty.
“Why were you at Eta Rho?” I asked. “You are looking for that composite, right?”
“I had a lead!” he insisted, still a little drunk from his earlier metaphorical and literal rage.
“A lead? Are you sure it wasn’t a campus blitz about Tails at Eta?!” I said.
“It was addressed to me personally! It was invite-only Tails, and she invited me! I knew she was concealing some information,” he said, still recoiling from obvious post-coital shock. The Eta Rho sister Ada Henderson had clearly just had her way with him. Hence her house’s nickname Eta Bro. They broke up after Sophomore Summer, but he still talked to her when he got really drunk. Kind of like a drunk dial. Except more like a drunk video chat because they could see each other. Well, they were having sex, so it was more like a drunk Chat Roulette dial.
“Well, okay, you have a lead? Where are you going right now?” I asked, but Sherlock Brolmes had disappeared into the night. I could only assume that he had gone off to search for clues in his shower. I could only hope that one of the clues was not the bottle of Jack Daniels he always keeps next to the soap. But after this slight detour, I’m sure he had a plan to find the dastardly composite thief.
But just then, as I walked back across the Green, I noticed a dark figure carrying a large rectangular frame covered in a Black North Face jacket. I started following him slowly, back across the Green towards the Hop. I could only wonder where this shadowy gentleman was heading…
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