This paper’s foreign correspondents have corroborated accounts of starving children all over Yemen weeping while watching broadcasts of the Notre Dame cathedral’s conflagration. Said Amin Al-Fawad, a fifteen-year old who gets his meals from relief…
Eyewitness reports say Devon Jennings, prospective ‘23, was paying far more attention to Amelia Evans, ‘23, than the official Dartmouth dimensions programming. While the majority of other students watched the dancing and performance specially performed…
Last Saturday afternoon, Maddie Holt, 19, attended her first ever pride parade. Holt, who fellow parade-goers described as “the most privileged cishet you’ll ever meet,” claimed that the annual celebration of the LGBT community was…
Eyewitnesses report that during 12s last Wednesday, Math 13 professor Michael Stornetti introduced increasingly threatening examples of when he would quiz his Math 13 students. “Now, Jeremy, if I stopped you on the street and…
At the end of last month, the Dartmouth admissions office reported that a record-low 7.9% of applicants qualified for admission into the Class of 2023. While it’s tempting to interpret a low acceptance rate as…