Safety hazard: The lifeguard at Beach Party is not certified

The lifeguard at the annual Alpha Chi Beach Party does not have official Red Cross certification, an investigation has revealed.

Though there is a lifeguard chair at the Winter Carnival party, it has become apparent that the people who climb up into the chair have not necessarily undergone lifeguard training.

Some students reported that a lifeguard had assisted them before at Beach Party, despite being uncertified and therefore potentially unqualified to provide first aid.

“I definitely received mouth-to-mouth from someone at last year’s Beach Party,” Jessica Smith ’18 said. “It was nice, but I don’t think they were using the proper technique outlined by the American Heart Association.”

When a reporter asked a student sitting in the lifeguard chair if he had a certification, the student did not provide a clear answer. Instead he asked if the reporter wanted to slap the bag. This is not a sanctioned water rescue technique.

Alpha Chi members denied that they were breaching safety regulations at their party.

“We never hire a lifeguard for Beach Party,” Alpha Chi social chair Ross Howard ’17 said. “Sure, someone usually sits in the big chair, but that doesn’t mean that they’re suddenly a lifeguard.”

Alpha Chi has not yet announced how they will address this potential liability.

“There isn’t actually any water at the party, so I don’t think we need an actual lifeguard,” Howard said. “We’ve already registered everything with the College. I really don’t see what the problem is here.”

At press time, reports also surfaced that the brother who tapes peoples’ hands together at Wedding Tails is not an ordained minister.

– LT ’19