Amazing New Innovations Revealed at Foco’s Allergen-Free Station

This fall, the Class of 1953 Commons will unveil new, forward-thinking innovations at its notably popular and well-loved allergy-free dining station, A9. A9 was conceived as a consistent option for students with serious food allergies, exclusively serving meals that do not contain the top nine most common allergens: dairy, eggs, fish, shellfish, peanuts, tree nuts, sesame, wheat, and soy. However, since its debut last year, students have not been satisfied with the options offered by the station. 

In response, Dartmouth Dining surveyed students with allergies, and 80% requested a wider range of ingredients including “anything besides hydrogenated vegetable fat in literally everything.” Response after response called for increased options and variety. One student’s comments, however, stuck out.

“At this point, just give me a fucking feeding tube,” stated Stevie Jernigan ’25, who is allergic to seven of A9’s targeted foods.

Taking Jernigan’s insightful advice, this fall term Dartmouth Dining Services will offer free installations of feeding tubes in the Paganucci Lounge at the Class of 1953 Commons, walk-ins welcome!

Students who participate in the installation will easily be able to hook their tubes up to the froyo machines, converted to innovative sustenance chambers and relocated to A9, now serving a nutritional food substitute liquid that is, rest assured, still free from dairy, eggs, ragweed, fish, shellfish, latex, peanuts, cantaloupe, tree nuts, sesame, wheat, and soy. 

The nutritional food substitute will come in a variety of flavors inspired by A9 specialties like liquid classic beef, liquid boiled chicken, liquid boiled broccoli, liquid boiled beef, liquid boiled potatoes, liquid beef (chunky), three loose grapes (liquified), liquid beef (creamy), a whole liquid uncooked pumpkin, and their take on foco cookies–an unidentifiable brown sludge. 

For students with no allergies, look forward to the new station being built in 2025: A-Negative-9, which will serve its signature dish every day–shrimp-flavored almond and tofu butter cake fried in peanut oil, moistened with fish blood, and topped with a sprinkle of sesame seeds. 

-B.M. ’26