Dartmouth Releases Comprehensive Guidelines For Campus Buildings

Dartmouth Releases Comprehensive Guidelines For Campus Buildings

The administration has released its style guidelines for any new educational buildings on campus, as maintained by “The Committee of Men Who Keep the Old…

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Starving Yemeni children weep watching Notre Dame burn to ground: “Truly the most heart-wrenching news story of today”

Starving Yemeni children weep watching Notre Dame burn to ground: “Truly the most heart-wrenching news story of today”

This paper’s foreign correspondents have corroborated accounts of starving children all over Yemen weeping while watching broadcasts of the Notre Dame cathedral’s conflagration. Said Amin…

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Prospie way more focused on other prospie than official dimensions programming

Prospie way more focused on other prospie than official dimensions programming

Eyewitness reports say Devon Jennings, prospective ‘23, was paying far more attention to Amelia Evans, ‘23, than the official Dartmouth dimensions programming. While the majority…

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Straight Cisgender White Girl Claims Pride Parade Only Place She Can Truly Be Herself

Straight Cisgender White Girl Claims Pride Parade Only Place She Can Truly Be Herself

Last Saturday afternoon, Maddie Holt, 19, attended her first ever pride parade. Holt, who fellow parade-goers described as “the most privileged cishet you’ll ever meet,”…

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Report: Professor Uses Increasingly Threatening Examples In Class

Report: Professor Uses Increasingly Threatening Examples In Class

Eyewitnesses report that during 12s last Wednesday, Math 13 professor Michael Stornetti introduced increasingly threatening examples of when he would quiz his Math 13 students….

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Class of ‘23 Unqualified for Admission

Class of ‘23 Unqualified for Admission

At the end of last month, the Dartmouth admissions office reported that a record-low 7.9% of applicants qualified for admission into the Class of 2023….

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New Study Finds That Free Food on the Collis Table Probably Rice

New Study Finds That Free Food on the Collis Table Probably Rice

New findings published in the U.S. Annals of Clinical Nutrition estimate that the contents of the aluminum tray on the table outside of Collis Commonground…

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Dartmouth Clarifies That its Focus on Undergraduate Research Has Actually Been Focus on Research on Undergraduates

Dartmouth Clarifies That its Focus on Undergraduate Research Has Actually Been Focus on Research on Undergraduates

A recent clarification from the faculty at Dartmouth’s undergraduate advising and research center, UGAR, has made it clear that Dartmouth actually promotes research on undergraduate…

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