“I moved here in 1985, right after graduating from medical school, and I did my internal medicine residency training at what was then Mary Hitchcock Memorial Hospital. My son was born during my senior year of medical school. The reason for moving here was that my parents lived in Strafford. My husband was a teacher, which worked out great because he could drop off the baby and pick him up after work. If there was a day that the kid was sick, which totally threw a monkey wrench in our very tightly orchestrated life, then I could call my mother. She could be there in half an hour.
There is no right time to start a family while pursuing medicine, so you just do it. You just choose a time and you do it. My second child was born when I was in my third year of residency. I would never have been able to have children and do medicine if it weren’t for my very supportive partner. When I was in my residency and was on call every third to fifth night, he would bring the kids in for dinner. Sometimes we would sit there for quite a while. And sometimes I would sit down, and the code pager would go off. I would have to run off, but at least the kids saw me.
Although there was one memorable time I was picking up my son, who was probably going on three, from the babysitter. He said, ‘Mommy, where are we going?’
I said, ‘We’re going home.’
He said, ‘No, we’re going to my home and Daddy’s home. You have your own home at the hostable.’
I think I just probably started to cry. ‘No, really I do live at home, honey.’
Everybody talks about work-life balance, and that always seemed very odd to me. Because work is life and home is life. So, they could say work-home balance. But work-life balance makes it sound like work isn’t even life. As my dad said, ‘Find work you love, and you never have to work a day in your life.’ I can’t say that I felt that way all the time I was working, but I had a wonderful job. I really was fortunate.
My kids grew up first in Thetford, then we lived in Norwich, and have been in the Upper Valley ever since. I am divorced, and my son turns 40 this year and my daughter turned 36. Now, I’ll be moving to be closer to her and my grandson. People say, ‘Oh, you must be excited to be moving.’ Well, yes and no. I have roots here. It’s not where I’m from, but it is where I’m from now.”
Fran Brokaw, Hanover NH
