“I’ve learned to use my voice a lot more. Being a Black woman, a fat Black woman, who’s also queer, I’ve worked through my identity in a predominantly cis-white, straight place. There are constant assumptions that are made about my identity, and who I am as a person. That’s never going to go away, and I have worked toward building community to help navigate through those challenges.
My personality helps me. I’m a very loud person in many ways. I walk loud, I dress loud, I speak loud, I laugh obnoxiously loud. That helps me create space for myself. Before I establish any type of relationship in any social setting, I’m quick to be like, so, what are your thoughts on x, y and z? I approach social settings obnoxiously to create that space, to allow me to be just who I am. I learned the importance of respecting other people’s space, but a big part of that came from demanding my own space first.
Sometimes I run out of steam, I run out of piss to mark territories. I balance out with things that I really love to do. My presence is usually one or the other. I’m this radical, loud person who makes sure to not just make space for myself but for other people who need to be amplified. Or I’m an artist and a creative, who loves fashion and wants to dress up in gowns and be like the Socialist Socialite. I also have an 11-year-old child. So, balancing through all those things tend to be very exhausting. I become less available to people when I get that exhausted.
Sometimes, there are points where I’m like, I’m not going any further unless you are going to pay me for the emotional labor. And while I’m not all about the capitalist mindset, there needs to be a redistribution of wealth in order for marginalized people to not be so tired and worn down, and for us to just be able to thrive, not just career wise, but mentally, physically, and emotionally.
I’m a people-first person. I take people at face value. I have met so many people that have stood up and said something. They created space for me to feel comfortable speaking out. I try to pay that forward. I create space for others to feel like they can also speak up.” – Sharonna Henderson, Hartland and Randolph, VT
