Articles by Jacko

*Knock knock* Who’s there? Who do you think it is? Open up! Do you have a warrant?   Like I need a warrant. Do you know how many calls we have been getting?   You…

10. Jamie P. Jamie P has definitely been working on his butthole. It is so much rounder than last year.   9. Laura F. Laura F.’s butthole is looking real tight and dark. That’s a…

That one time your dad forgot you at Walmart for 45 minutes. When your dad showed up drunk to your parent-teacher conference. When you came down stairs on Christmas morning and there weren’t any presents…

Recently, AD has come under fire in the national media for a branding scandal, after one new member got an infection after being branded on his buttocks.  The college has vowed to crack down harder…

Yeah, you probably won’t get these.   1.That feeling of invincibility you get every time you turn in a problem set before the deadline. 2. That feeling of hopelessness that overtakes you when it’s too…

I’m proud to accept the Marketing Professional of the Year Award and there are so many people that I would like to thank. My boss for pushing me to succeed, my friends for supporting me…

  -BP ’16

Sources close to Mike Peters ’18 confirmed that the freshman entered TDX last Saturday night in hopes of forming close relationships with fellow partygoers in the fraternity’s crowded basement. “Everyone is always telling me I’ll…

The Dartmouth Secure server, the main source of wifi for campus, unexpectedly went down at midmorning yesterday. The unexplained outage lasted from approximately 11:05-12:43. Economics 10: Statistical Methods, taught by Professor William Trentos, meets during…

“Hey man, what band is this?” “Oh this? This is, ‘The Travelling Merchant Came Upon A House And Looked Inside But There Was No One Home So He Kept Walking And Walking And Walking Until…

            “Last week I farted in the middle of an office meeting and blamed it on the intern.” -Rachel W., CT “I watch Desperate Housewives. It’s a total guilty pleasure;…