A Tinderer's Log
Day 1: Just got Tinder. All my friends have been telling me to get it. Seems sort of dumb, but I guess it could be fun. Day 2: Got my first match! I take back…
Articles by Jacko
What the Fuck Is Jennifer Aniston?
A custom sandwich An unfamiliar word if you’ve never read a magazine or gone to a Vince Vaughn movie and/or been alive for more than a month A Greek vegetable An idea the government planted…
God, The English Student
In the Beginning, the First Draft was a formless void of darkness and procrastination, until finally God said, “Let there be light.” And there was light. And God saw that the light was good and…
The Meal Plan Diaries
December 21st, 2012, 8:56 PM After running the analytics for the fourth time, it’s settled: I’m opting for the 10. Sure, I sacrifice several coffees per week. It’s worth it for the raw purchasing power…
Online Love
Dear Diary, Today is finally the big day. Today I meet the girl of my dreams. For six months now we’ve been talking to each other online. It seems like only yesterday that we met…
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Today's TV Lineup
FEATURED SHOW – Exotic Dancing With the Stars: Celebrities are paired with professional strippers to see how their lives would have been had they dropped out of acting school. This week: Stephen Hawking is…
10 Songs Glee Should Totally Cover
After months of debate and deliberation, we’re finally ready to debut our list of songs that would benefit from the trademark Glee treatment: 4 1/2 Minutes of Will.I.Am Having A Violent Fit of Tapeworm-Induced Dysentery…
How To Win Pinterest
Within the next five years, find a man. He will be some form of Ryan Reynolds. You will woo him by leaving storybooks of your relationship, coupons for a toenail clipping, and a box of…
Hey Guys, I Think I'm Going to Join a Business Plan Contest!
DisAppointment: A digital calendar that randomly mixes up your appointments, so you’re always in the wrong place and your loved ones and coworkers are constantly saddened The Death Wristwatch: A digital watch whose screen occasionally…
Mammoths
Officer, I am innocent. The reason there are bits and pieces of human remains in my backpack and some others found in my room is very simple. It was the wooly mammoths, you see. It…