Marauding Maintenance
In the velvet darkness of the blackest night, a single light shines from the Facilities Operations & Management shed. As the campus lies silent, the soft purr of the engine on a miniature vehicle reverberates off brick…
Articles by Jacko
Funniest Guy Around
Adam, After Taking Some WGST Courses and Getting Really Into Palindromes, Apologizes to Eve for Laying the Blame of Original Sin on Her
“Madam, I’m Adam” For Eve, Neo-feminism’s in! I. Me. Foe. Never of “madam.” -I’m Adam.
Local Mother Discovers Five Easy Steps to Whiter Teeth!
1. Brush your teeth! Using regular sodium fluoride toothpaste, you can significantly resist the effects of tooth decay and prevent painful cavities! And don’t forget to floss! 2. Tan your face! If your face is…
Introducing Tostitos® Brand Salsa and Tortilla Chips: The New Unofficial Sponsor of the Dartmouth Jack-O-Lantern!
Introducing Tostitos® Brand Salsa and Tortilla Chips: The New Official Sponsor of the Dartmouth Jack-O-Lantern! Dear Campus, The writers at the Jack-O have been known as a lot of things over the years: Sleek. Edgy…Sledgy….
Lost MTV Show
After a decade of running exclusively music-related content, MTV was set to diversify its lineup in the early nineties. Before the network finally saw success with The Real World, more than a few flops had…
A Brief Encounter Outside a McDonald’s
Modern day ME walks outside a McDonald’s. I catch a glimpse of a poster that seems to be advertising the return of the McRib. A brief spark of nostalgia. But, no! I care about my…
The Queens of Cockblock
Jim Kim Elected Editor-in-Chief of the Jack-o-Lantern
Greetings readership, We are pleased to announce that Dartmouth College President Jim Yong Kim has been elected Editor-in-Chief of the Jack-o-Lantern. In our recent elections, Kim defeated incumbent editors Kenny Baclawski ’12…
5 Easy Steps
by Charlie Laud ’14
From the Jacko Vault: Scary Keggy!!!
Keggy the Keg is usually a fun-loving, jovial creature. But sometimes he can be downright terrifying. You know what they say: it’s always the quiet ones… #1: Demonic Butcher Keggy!!! #2: What Keggy Looks Like…
Notes on Peeves of Aerial Traversal
by Nathanael “Nathaniel” Friday ’15 1. The panic TSA instills in an otherwise tranquil line of people, and the mounting horror at their dull apathy when, despite their violations, you realize you accidentally got onto…