A Baker Island 4th of July
We sent Jacko correspondent Mike Hewitt ’16 to check out how the States’ most uninhabited non-state celebrates the 4th of July. It’s a beautiful cloudless day here on Baker Island, a small US territory in…
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Bruce Springsteen Day
“All who are hungry, let them rock. All who are needy, let them roll. All the bruisers, cruisers, and back-street boozers, may they all seek refuge in the House of the Boss.” Welcome, fellow seekers…
Old Traditions Fail
Speaking at a conference on the Dartmouth Hall lawn Tuesday afternoon, Board of Trustees Chair Steve Mandel ‘78 tearily announced that the Old Traditions have failed. “They had their moment in the sun,” said Mandel….
Person of the Century 2013
Every spring since last spring, we’ve awarded the Annual Person of the Century Award™ to a person who has displayed outstanding achievement in the past century. This century, we are proud to bestow the illustrious award…
If Paintings Were New Yorker Cartoons
-Matt Garczynski ’14
March Sadness
It’s April 1st. I emerge from my shelter deep underground. The world is still here. It’s over. I survived March Madness. March is a time when the male species is overcome with a sickness of…
A Tinderer's Log
Day 1: Just got Tinder. All my friends have been telling me to get it. Seems sort of dumb, but I guess it could be fun. Day 2: Got my first match! I take back…
Last Supper Murder Mystery
INT. Banquet Hall JESUS, 32, and the APOSTLES sit eating along one side of a long table. Jesus stands. The disciples silence to listen. Jesus Friends. I tell you now the truth. One of you…
What the Fuck Is Jennifer Aniston?
A custom sandwich An unfamiliar word if you’ve never read a magazine or gone to a Vince Vaughn movie and/or been alive for more than a month A Greek vegetable An idea the government planted…
God, The English Student
In the Beginning, the First Draft was a formless void of darkness and procrastination, until finally God said, “Let there be light.” And there was light. And God saw that the light was good and…
The Meal Plan Diaries
December 21st, 2012, 8:56 PM After running the analytics for the fourth time, it’s settled: I’m opting for the 10. Sure, I sacrifice several coffees per week. It’s worth it for the raw purchasing power…
Online Love
Dear Diary, Today is finally the big day. Today I meet the girl of my dreams. For six months now we’ve been talking to each other online. It seems like only yesterday that we met…