Cool Designs for Socks
By Alex Procton ’15 With pictures of smaller socks on them With pictures of cats named “Socks” on them With speeches by famous orators on them With speeches by cult leaders on them Toe socks…
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Canadians Invade Hanover!
By Alex Procton ’15 INT. FRAT HOUSE, NIGHT We open on BRET, a ’13, who is behind the bar in his crowded frat house, and JACK, a ’15, who wants a drink. JACK is holding…
The Facts of Life
By Michael Lenke ’15 Fact: the Twilight movies have been linked to an increased risk of testicular cancer in both men and women. Fact: there are 4 spider legs in the average chocolate bar. There’s…
Uses of SIRI: iPhone Digital Assistant
For Reenacting 2001: A Space Odyssey – John: Okay Siri, I’m going to play the role of Dr. Heywood R. Floyd and I want you to play— Siri: I know, HAL 9000. Okay, John, sounds—…
Frank: The Guy with Tinnitus
Frank: The Guy with Tinnitus Meet America’s favorite aurally afflicted goofball… it’s Frank!
Sheath of Choice
A piece of Harry Potter slash fiction by Mysterious Harry Potter Fan ’13 The Sorting Hat lay in his usual pose, lazily crumpled up on his shelf in Dumbledore’s office. He did what he always…
A Day In The Life of A Dartmouth Student: Keggy
by Amanda Young ’15 10:00 a.m. Rough morning. Keggy falls overs walking to the Life Sciences Center for Geography 23, Recycling at the Big Green: Reusing Keystone Light Cans. 12:45 p.m. Keggy enjoys a hearty…
The Goth Comes of Age
I stare in the mirror at my whiskers, unshaven, The solemn hue of a sinister raven. Try as I may, I cannot erase The inner darkness coming out of my face. Oh, my soul was…
A Brief History of Our Nation’s Leaders and Their Skills in Pong
by Alex Procton ’15 Since the dawn of time, man has sought to enhance competitive game-playing with alcohol, and our own United States of America is no exception. The history of pong in the US…
As the Green Turns
Professor Ruiz motioned to the board sensuously with his pointer. His thick Mexican accent cut through the dense Calculus jargon like a warm knife through a ripe mango. “Class, can anyone tell me the answer…
Nursery Crimes
“Jack and Jill” Jack and Jill went up the hill To fetch a pail of water Jack fell down and broke his crown And Jill came tumbling after Now Jack and Jill took quite a…
Mixed Drinks for Your Mixed-Up Lives
Rocks on the Rocks on the Rocks on the Rocks Ingredients: 1 member of the Rockapellas ice Instructions: 1. Invite a member of the Rockapellas on a date to the Velvet Rocks hiking trail. 2….