by Alex Procton ’15 His crusade against the humanities will eventually leave only the sciences and Scientology. JYK hates psychiatry because it has never cured an AIDS patient. His location on Frat Row is optimal…
swipe 1. to swipe your ID card at FoCo; FoCo 2. to steal food from FoCo 3. short for asswipe a. Hungry freshman: “Let’s go swipe.” b. Kleptomaniac freshman: “Let’s go swipe” c. Angry freshman…
Hey everybody! Your favorite campus mascot Keggy here! I just had a pretty cool time walking around campus today. I did tons of stuff. I went to McNutt, the Green, Baker Library, and to the…
by Floyd Gibbons ’15 From the first time Man walked out of his cave and realized “Oh crap, its cold.” human beings have clothed themselves in an attempt to stay warm and avoid citations for…
Welcome ’15s! You’ve had a while or so to get settled here at Dartmouth and we hope it’s going smoothly. Sure, you’ve banged on the door of President Kim’s house asking if they still had…
by Kevin Ibarra ’15 On the first day of orientation, my roommate bought a small potted plant. He then placed it near the window next to my desk and decided never to water it. Since…
IN WHICH the first line of A Portrait of the Artist As A Young Man is written James Joyce sat at his mahogany desk, his forehead furrowed, his chin perched upon his thumb and forefinger….
There once was a shmob who hung out with Ty I don’t know why they hung out with Ty Perhaps they’ll die. There once was a shmob who hung out with Kate Kate was going…
FACT: The average summer temperature in Hanover is 80 degrees. However, it is never within 20 degrees of actually being that temperature FACT: Dartmouth students want what they don’t have (FoCo, Tubestock, significant other), and…
Five Things Famous Historical Figures Did to Get Out of the Heat Marry a frigid woman (Bill Clinton) Get “lost” on your way to the South Pole (Ernest Shackleton) “Live” in Nepal (Tenzing Norgay) Retire…