Following revelations that the Russell Sage Hall dormitory contains peeling lead paint, Braydon Bloggs ’25 has filed a lawsuit against the College. In it, he seeks compensation for having developed lead poisoning after eating an…
As a department centered around boring, old, nationalistic white men from millennia ago, the Classics Department is famously known for the deep rooted homophobia many of its students exhibit. However, it has turned out that…
As a nasty cold makes its way across campus, Dartmouth students find themselves “completely at a loss” as to how to stop the spread of this airborne respiratory illness, despite over a year of learning…
I, a Dartmouth Student, am at an emotional low point, and I welcome the sweet concussive relief of an acorn taking me the fuck down. Everyday I pace back and forth along Mass Row, hoping,…
Last week, The Dartmouth Review announced that its efforts to restore students’ access to pornhub.com has succeeded, but only for straight pornographic videos. Straight men eagerly rushed to the interwebs, frantically googling “girls kissing girls,”…
Last Wednesday morning in Silsby 217, Brad Stevenson ‘22 shed his mortal skin for the flesh of Satan, also known as the devil, or Lucifer while voicing a controversial opinion without being prompted. This is…
-KD ’21
WASHINGTON—“Barry, can you fuckin’ believe this guy?” began Vice President Joe Biden’s impromptu speech at yesterday’s White House End-of-Term Bash, report inside sources. “What’s he think he’s doing here? He just came into my room…
Ten Reasons Why My Big is Better than the Gleaming-Eyed Goddess Athena, Praise Her Noble Name Eight Things that Happen When Your Bestie Gets Slaughtered by the Six-Headed Monster Scylla An Open Letter to the…
The administration confirmed this week that Dartmouth’s historic Baker Tower is currently under construction to include updated copper roofing, a new digital clock system, and a powerful spell that completely hides all 23 Greek houses…
Struggling to motivate yourself to hit the weights day after day AND eat all the right foods? Look for inspiration in these 5 incredible body builders who ate as much as they wanted! 1. Donatello…
Karen I know you’ve caught the “craft bug” ever since Todd left, but you have to stop inundating me with mason jar crafts. My house is rife with mason jar twinkle-lights, mason jar soap dispensers…