Dear Dartmouth,

Numerous research studies across many fields, involving a number of different contexts and cultures, and occurring at different points in human history have agreed upon one conclusive finding. Humans are profoundly social in nature, and the quality of our relationships is one of the most significant contributors to our wellbeing.

This week we continue our exploration of our wellbeing pathways with our third component: Connecting Authentically. This is a pathway that is primarily concerned with your ability to form meaningful, mutually supportive relationships and to feel a sense of belonging. You may have noticed the power of relationships related to your own wellbeing. Feeling secure in your relationships can bolster your ability to face any other challenges you may be experiencing, but when relationships feel more tenuous, it can affect your thoughts, feelings, and beliefs even when things are otherwise going well.

The inclusion of authenticity in this pathway highlights the importance of allowing others to know and see you for who you really are. It is, of course, a vulnerable act to be seen and known, but in the context of a trustworthy relationship, it is also a way to experience true validation of your inherent value, and to offer that validation to others.

Forming and maintaining good relationships requires an investment of your time and attention, and the demands and busy-ness of a rigorous academic context can limit your availability. Making time in your life to enjoy your connections with others, even when you have too much on your plate, can give you a boost of energy for everything else that requires your attention. And being there for others and allowing others to be there for you is how we can collectively create a caring community at Dartmouth.

Connecting authentically can also involve more than relationships. It can refer to your ability to connect inwardly, with your own values and strengths, to guide your decisions and actions in the world. In this sense, it bridges the reflective nature of the first two pathways with the next pathway we’ll discuss: Acting Intentionally.

Ask Yourself (Reflective Questions)

• Who have I connected with in an authentic manner? Who knows me, sees me for who I really am, and believes in my worth? What qualities have characterized these relationships, and what can I learn from them about the kind of relationships I want to have in the future?
• Who am I closest to right now? Who would I like to have a closer relationship with, and where would I like a little more distance? What would it look like to take more ownership of my existing relationships?
• How would I like to connect with others here at Dartmouth? How can I create opportunities to build these connections with others?

Try This (Wellbeing Practices)

• Stay connected with the people most important in your life
• Experiment with new ways to connect while social distancing
• Broaden your social circle by building authentic relationships across differences

Explore Further (Dartmouth Resources)

• Get involved with the many organizations and events at Dartmouth
• Stay connected with the SWC through our Virtual Student Wellness Center

As you build more authentic connections in your life, we encourage you to reflect on the questions above – maybe by talking them through with someone you trust – and pick a practice to try over the next couple weeks. We’ll continue this exploration with our fourth pathway: Acting Intentionally in two weeks. Until next time…

Take care and be well,
Todd

Dear Dartmouth,

Welcome to October! We are continuing our exploration of our wellbeing framework with our second pathway of Engaging Mindfully. This pathway involves two related but distinct concepts: engagement and mindfulness. The act of engaging with your life has to do with the way you show up, and can even get caught up in certain experiences. Research on this topic often uses the term flow to refer to the state of being engaged.

Flow experiences can happen in many domains of your life, and you’ve likely had more than one by now. It may have involved losing yourself in different play- or performance-based activities (e.g. sports, arts and crafts, writing, connecting with nature), interactions (e.g. deep conversations, guided meditations, listening to music, teaching or learning), or even in taking a more intentional approach to enhancing your wellbeing.

Flow experiences can help you become more aware of activities and outcomes that are deserving of your energy and time – those experiences that build you up and connect with who you are. It can also be an important element in steering you toward majors and careers that fit you well because of the inherent connection to your interests and values.

Mindfulness also has much to do with awareness and presence. It’s about paying attention, in the present moment, on purpose, and non-judgmentally. Mindfulness is a skill that can be developed over time, and has been linked with a huge number of wellbeing outcomes. You have likely encountered mindfulness at some point in your life as well, and it is something that can continue to enrich your wellbeing as you grown in your ability to show up in this very particular way.

Cultivating your capacity to be fully present, here and now, for yourself and others can help you to be fully present in your academic, social, and professional areas of your life. Mindful engagement helps maximize every moment to its fullest potential, enables you become more accepting of yourself and others, and make choices consistent with the outcomes you most desire.

Ask Yourself (Reflective Questions)

• What experiences have I engaged with so fully that I lost track of time and simply felt the flow of the present moment? What was it about these experiences that made this possible?
• How often is my mind centered in the present moment, rather than being caught up in past events or focused on the future? What are the advantages or disadvantages of being past-, present-, or future-focused for me?
• What situations cause me to react instinctively, rather then mindfully responding? How would things be different if I was able to be more intentional in these moments?

Try This (Wellbeing Practices)

• At the SWC, we often use the STOP micro-practice as an introduction to mindfulness
• Get outside and try a walking meditation
• Take a moment and focus on your breath

Explore Further (Dartmouth Resources)

• Check out the many mindfulness and yoga resources available through the Student Wellness Center, including workshops, drop-in sessions, and live classes for all skill levels!
• Participate in sessions with the different mindfulness practitioner groups through the Tucker Center

Whether you prefer journaling, talking with others, or just contemplating things on your own, we encourage you to make some time to reflect on the questions above and select one of the practices to try over the next couple weeks. In our next post, we’ll share more about our third pathway: Connecting Authentically. Until then…

Take care and be well,
Todd