Dear Dartmouth,

As I think back over conversations I’ve had during my three years on staff here, I can recall a number of phrases I’ve heard from students that give me glimpses of the distinctive experience here. One that stands out is short and to the point:

Work hard, play hard.

In my first year, I nodded when I heard it. It told me that Dartmouth students are driven, capable, goal-oriented people, committed to achieving significant accomplishments. Working hard made sense. And playing hard, as a release from the grind, seemed like a logical and normal balance to all of that effort.

In my second year, “work hard, play hard” seemed like it was less about what the students I was speaking with wanted for themselves, and more about perceived expectations from others. This also made sense to me. The people and the culture around us do much to shape our understanding of who and how we should be, and hard work is valued more often than not. But I started to wonder when, exactly, anyone was getting a break to rest and recharge. Playing hard seemed less like a release and more like a coping mechanism for the stresses of termly life.

By my third year, the initial respect I had given to “work hard, play hard” had worn thin. I had encountered too many individuals willing to push themselves to extreme lengths despite the consequences of this lifestyle. I realized there was even an expectation of burnout – that at some point it would all get to be too much, but in the absence of options, the best choice was to simply keep running forward, hoping to make it through.

As someone who works in wellbeing, I want to say this clearly:

“Work hard, play hard” is not about being well.

At the end of the day, if you’re working hard and playing hard, it sort of sounds like every part of your life is…well…hard.

This could be understandable if it were true that life needs to be hard in order to achieve anything worthwhile. But the idea that you must sacrifice your wellbeing in order to achieve meaningful accomplishments is simply not true and sets up a false dichotomy between doing well and being well.

A profound living example regarding the relationship between wellbeing and performance at the moment is Simone Biles. Widely regarded as the best gymnast of her time, and perhaps of all time, she stepped away from Olympic competition in order to preserve her wellbeing. As Robert O’Connell wrote for The Atlantic, at her press conference following her decision, she “revised the language of greatness, positioning it as something to be tended to and mindfully maintained, not drawn on ad nauseam. Her most telling words rejected the false dichotomy between personal well-being and professional excellence, instead pointing to the former as a precondition of the latter.”

To quote Biles directly, “I say put mental health first, because if you don’t, you’re not going to enjoy your sport and you’re not going to succeed as much as you want to.” In this statement, she offers some insight into what creates the opportunity to achieve at the highest level. It’s telling that she does not say words like “grind,” “hustle,” or “persevere.” Instead, she links success with joy. In describing the context of this particular competition at the end of the article, O’Connell writes, “it wasn’t joyful, so she couldn’t fly through the air in the way we’re used to seeing. That tells us something crucial, and beautiful, about the times when she could.”

And this is where our monthly theme may have something to offer in terms of challenging the work hard, play hard culture. Is it possible that making more space for joy, and even playfulness might actually be necessary in order to achieve all that you’re hoping? And if you were to do so, how would that shift your experience as a Dartmouth student?

At the SWC, we’re playing with a new phrase that we’d love for you to consider:

Work playfully, play joyfully.

There are, of course, two parts to this phrase, so let’s do some quick unpacking.

For the first part, ask yourself what it would look like to take a more playful approach to your studies. Playfulness has much to do with being present, in the moment, caught up in what you’re doing. It involves giving your attention fully to your activity, and approaching your tasks in a centered way, with calm and clarity. Maybe most important, it involves curiosity and a willingness to experiment – which of necessity requires a release of perfectionism. The freedom this creates opens up possibilities that can only be realized in the absence of limitations to what you already know or can do.

The beauty of this approach is that it suggests that there is more to success than hard work. It does not negate the challenge, but instead proposes finding some joy, or interest, or engagement with the work in order to make it more possible to sustain your efforts over time.

For the second component, consider how you spend your time away from work. Does the way that you “play hard” bring a genuine sense of joy to your life? If not, are there other things you could be doing that would be more fulfilling? And what would it take to step out of the expectations for what you do with your time so that you could instead do what you want?

Take some time to reflect about the experiences that genuinely bring you a sense of joy. Maybe even consider inviting a friend to do this with you and compare notes. What things do you have in common that could create shared joyful experiences, what things are distinctive to you in particular, and how might you make more space for all of these things in your life? Most importantly, consider how to do this in a way that would make these things restorative in a way that playing hard was not?

Work playfully, play joyfully.

Play with the idea. Give it some time. Maybe even give it a try and see how it feels. You never know – you might enjoy yourself more and experience more success as a result.

Take care and be well,
Todd

Dear Dartmouth,

It’s summer in the Upper Valley! The days all stretch a little longer, the hills are verdant and green, the gardens are bringing forth an abundance of fresh produce, and the nights are lit by fireflies and stars. It’s a special time here – one that sends people off to local watering holes or trails into the wilderness to cool and relax during the heat of the day.

Of course, everything I’ve just written feels like it should probably have a giant asterisk after it, connected to a footnote reading “schedules permitting.” It’s Summer Term after all, which means your life is likely full of demands and responsibilities, academic and otherwise. Wherever you are at on the spectrum of busy-ness this summer, our team at the SWC wants to encourage you to take some time for yourself that restores your energy, helps you connect with others, and make the most of this sweet short season that is upon us. With that in mind, we’re excited to share our summer wellbeing theme of Joy and Playfulness.

As a jumping off point, here’s how our Wellbeing & Mindfulness Specialist, LB, the visionary behind our wellbeing themes and all-around great person, describes this focus:

Joy & Playfulness is all about creating space in your life for delight and light-heartedness, even if it’s just for a moment or two. It’s about letting go of the need to constantly practice, perform, or perfect, and instead embracing things that feel replenishing and fulfilling.

Let’s unpack that statement a little bit to see if it can generate some ways that you can start to incorporate these components of wellbeing into your life more consistently.

LB mentions that joy is significant, even if it can feel fleeting at times. In many ways, joy is something we experience in the moment, but cultivate over the long haul. Try thinking of joy as an indicator of thriving. The moments when you are experiencing joy can serve as a cue that things are good, and these moments can impact our wellbeing in positive ways. If we are able to be open to the joy that different experiences present us, then we have opportunities to realize that our lives can be good, which can encourage us to pursue the kinds of relationships and goals that bring this particular type of fulfilling happiness.

After nearly 3 years on staff at Dartmouth, it has become evident to me that many people in our community feel a need to be conduct themselves seriously and stay constantly “switched on.” I’ve heard many students use the phrase “work hard, play hard,” suggesting that this idea of how you should be cuts across all areas of your life. It’s as if there is a sense that you need to go at everything full force –  constantly performing, productive, and at your best in every way.

Focusing on joy can offer an opportunity to step back from striving for that kind of existence and instead think about how you actually want to feel and what kinds of things make that feeling possible. Something as simple as pausing to contemplate this can help you realize that those expectations of performance, productivity, and perfection were pretty unrealistic in the first place. And letting go of those expectations might allow you to embrace other ways of approaching life that are more sustaining and restorative.

This theme, then, is about cultivating the ability to create a diversity of experiences for yourself. There are certainly times when you need to be serious, focused, and on your “A game,” but there are also times when can you can let go, relax, and allow yourself to simply be.

Learning to prioritize joyful and playful moments as being of equal importance with the times we need to be at our best might be transformative. Opportunities for joy – through connection or play, through experiences of wonder or novelty, through reflecting on ways that you have had a positive impact on another person or contributed to your community – can help you become more aware of what, specifically, makes life worth living for you.

Should you decide to prioritize joy this summer, then the last piece to unpack from the statement above is the idea of creating space for these experiences. This is no simple task. Your life is undoubtedly stacked with responsibilities. However, making space for joy, for play, for rest and self-care, is a way of sending a direct message to yourself that you, in fact, matter, and deserve good things in your life. It might also prove restorative, helping you to re-engage with those responsibilities, and show up for others in a more focused and intentional way. So how might you intentionally create more space for joy in your life?

Merriam Webster defines joy as “the emotion evoked by well-being, success, or good fortune or by the prospect of possessing what one desires.” In terms of intentionality, there is clearly a spectrum here, so let’s focus quickly on each of the things that might evoke joy.

• Good fortune is difficult to predict or force. However, you can influence your internal state by cultivating your capacity to appreciate good things. That way, when they occur you can actually experience them in a joyful manner. Practicing gratitude has many well-established links with wellbeing, and can open you up to be more aware of and responsive to the joyful moments that are already part of your life.
  
• Wellbeing involves both internal and external factors, making it more self-directed. Prioritizing wellbeing – i.e. making sure you have opportunities in your life on an ongoing basis to both be well AND do well can make all the difference here. This type of “creating space” involves reflecting on what you value, and then taking action to ensure that you have time set apart for these things even in the midst of your other competing demands.
  
• Finally, the concepts of success and working toward desired outcomes are things over which you can exert a strong influence. Start by setting an intention. Ask yourself what you most hope to accomplish this summer. What are the goals or outcomes that are most deserving of your energy? Then, focus your efforts on these things that matter to you to create more opportunities to experience joy – both when you accomplish your goals and also during the pursuit of those goals, as this striving is the very thing that can help you grow more fully into the person you want to become.
  [nerd alert: for more on this, look up “self-concordance theory”]

Okay – enough reading about this theme. What could you do right now that would bring a little more joy to your day? Is it time to go play? To connect with someone else? Whatever it might be, here’s hoping you can get away from this screen and go do something that helps you embrace life in a joyful way.

Wherever you are, as you journey through this summer, our SWC team is here to support you. Please explore what we have to offer, and don’t ever hesitate to reach out!

Take care and be well,
Todd