It has come to that point in the fall term where it feels like everyone else has got it all together: classes, friends, extra-curriculars. It feels like everyone is always hanging out and managing all aspects of their lives perfectly. We know that this isn’t true. We are all struggling, in one way or another, but are just really good at concealing it; pretending we are completely fine. 

So, it feels like we are alone in our struggles and our strengths. By putting on different masks and pretending we’ve got it all figured out, we hide our struggles — feeling alone in them. In this state of isolation, we feel like we need to muster up strength in self all by ourselves, which leads to us struggling in silence and feeling like we’re on our own when it comes to finding our way out.  

This is so far from the truth! You are not alone in your struggles or in your strengths. When we are honest with ourselves and the people around us, we find that the struggles we are facing are not just happening to us. They are happening to almost everyone on campus. More importantly, the people around you can feed your strengths. We can make strength in self a collective experience by giving and receiving support and affirmation in a way that empowers one another and our entire community. Here are a few practices you can use to find strength in self and encourage strengths in others: 

Take some time to step back, breathe, and truly check-in with how you are feeling. Ask yourself these three questions (it’s helpful to write down your answers!): 

1. What are the things that are draining my energy? 
2. What are the things that are feeding my energy in a good way? 
3. Are the energy drainers outweighing the energy feeders? If they are, how can you add more energy feeders into your life? 

Also, take some time to check-in with your friends and the people around you! We’re always going to feel alone in our struggles if we don’t talk about them. So, start a conversation with the people around you! Here are some helpful jumping off points (some of them more serious than others): 

1. Describe your week in 3 words. 
2. What color are you feeling? 
3. What is your song of the day? 

This last one is my favorite because the conversation can literally go anywhere. Music is a big way that we can cope with our struggles or uncomfortable feelings. Use it to reduce your stress and bond with the people around you. When I asked three students what they are listening to these days, their suggestions became a great wellbeing playlist. Give it a listen here and share your own songs with your friends to create your own! (Special thanks to Vanessa Haggans, Sebastian Costa, and Meghana Kopparthi for sharing their song recommendations!).

As you navigate the rest of this term remember to be honest with yourself and the people around you. Everyone else is struggling, just as you may be. Our strength in self comes from the people around us as much as it comes from within. Take a deep breath, blast some tunes, and remember you’re not alone and we’re in this together.