Dear Dartmouth,
I’ve spent years honing my skills at being self-aware and trying to live life as my authentic self. But here I was, yet again, trying to be someone I wasn’t and feeling completely disconnected from who I am (and want to be), and therefore disconnected from others as well. I lost sight of myself, while my negative self-talk solidified my mis-perceived belief that “I am not enough.”
When life gets busy and presents new challenges that are beyond our comfort zone, it is normal to stumble and trip until we find our footing. But for many of us, we often don’t give ourselves permission to make mistakes – to be human. We continually push on while not allowing for a moment to pause, step back, and assess what exactly is going on. The power of this pause is the chance to connect more deeply with ourselves and ultimately better recognize and understand our thoughts, feelings, and actions. And maybe, we just may come to understand that we are enough – even when things might not be perfect.
When we can give ourselves permission to pause, and be in that pause, we have just created the space to consider whether a pivot; a change of course of action, would be helpful, wise, and maybe even a more compassionate direction to go.
A simple podcast episode provided the pause that allowed me to take a step back and reconnect with the reality of my life (and who I want to be). I was listening to a 10% Happier episode aptly titled “How to Stop Living an Artificial Life” while walking through the woods with my dog, Bodhi. The guest was speaking about how nature can be a powerful source to help us disconnect from all the external influences we feel in life so that we can connect more deeply to ourselves. And here I was, out in nature with earbuds in. The irony was not lost on me – I immediately laughed out loud, removed my earbuds, and just let myself be absorbed in the canopy of red, green, orange, and yellow leaves above and around me.
That moment provided space for me to have a few distraction-free minutes to reflect on things in my life in an objective way and begin to see that I could let go of the notion that I had to have all the answers right now. Instead I started to accept that I could, in fact, be a human being doing the best that I could with what I had. I started to see that the best way for me to move forward was to be more of my authentic self, own where I had some growing to do, and step compassionately forward.
So, I invite you to connect more deeply with yourself now. To pause and to consider where you are with your fall term by reflecting on the following:
1. Am I being the person I want to be?
2. Am I moving through this term in the way that feels best for me?
3. Am I connecting with others in an authentic way?
Observe what comes up for you. Kindly notice areas you feel good about and areas you could grow. See how you can make a first step toward sustaining, or growing into, who you want to be.
Reconnecting with our deepest selves can be a lot like going on a hike for the first time. It can take some time to find our footing. At first, we might stumble and trip over knotty roots, unexpected rocks, and maybe even our own feet, but with acceptance, seeing, and patience we begin to find our steadiness, strength, and resilience.
May we all be human beings – imperfect together.
LB
