The limited periods of light and cold temperatures of a New England winter can be rough for many folks. Whether we are new to the region or have grown up in frigid temperatures, navigating seasonal transitions can be a challenge for us all. However, thriving through a dark, cold winter is possible! Tending to, and even perhaps growing and diversifying, your garden of friends can be one way to bring some coziness, diverse companionship and camaraderie this winter term and beyond.
3 Tips to Growing a Winter Garden of Friendship
- Stay Open Minded
- Discover a Mentor/Guide
- Choose your Own College Adventure
Strategy #1 Stay Open Minded
Attend an event you never thought you would! For me this meant attending a student panel discussion on the experiences of Student Veterans at Dartmouth. I walked in unsure of whether I should be there, and I walked out with knowledge and insight I do not believe I would have had otherwise. In these 45 minutes, the way I once saw things, were forever changed (in a positive and compassionate way).
Tips:
- Show up to a cultural event to support a friend or because you think it sounds interesting. Check out the Hop events calendar for fun options!
- Practice Beginners Mind – experience everything and everyone as though it’s for the first time – even if it’s something or someone you are super familiar with.
- See what your residence hall/House Community is up to (those newsletters are chalk full of opportunities!). Introduce yourselves to new folks and get to know them better.
Strategy #2 Find a Mentor/Guide
Did you know having a mentor/guide is directly related to student success and wellbeing? Studies have shown that students who have even one faculty/staff member that they connect with over the course of their academic careers are more likely to feel a sense of belonging and security while at college. And like most relationships, these too take work.
Tips:
- Narrow down and acknowledge what is meaningful to you. Do you value creativity, social justice causes, your mental health or maybe it’s growing into a professional in a certain career?
- Identify someone at Dartmouth – faculty or staff – that may be able to connect with you on it and/or someone you look up to and have deep respect for.
- Send them an email telling them a bit about who you are, why you’re emailing them, and why you’d like to meet. Ask if they want to go for a walk and talk, meet for coffee, or take advantage of Dartmouth’s Take a Faculty Member to Breakfast or Lunch program. It could be the start of more on-going discussions and opportunities for connection.
Strategy #3 – Choose your own College Adventure
It is helpful to ask yourself what you want your college experience to look like, and what success at Dartmouth might look like for you. It is important to remember that everyone’s journey and goals are different, and that there is no one size fits all in college or in life. As we explore and create our adventure, we may just find some new companions along the way!
Tips:
- When trying to figure out what success at college looks like for you, it may be helpful to consider the different aspects of college life: academic, personal, social, religious/spiritual and what they mean to you.
- Come up with a SMART (Specific, Measurable, Attainable, Relevant, Timebound) goal you can create for each of these aspects that would allow you to feel like you have experienced college in the way that matters most to you, and with the folks that you feel most connected with.
- Remember: you are growing at college, and so these SMART goals can change with you, just as relationships can shift and transform as well. Don’t be disappointed if you may not achieve all your SMART goals – that could be a cue that it’s time for a review and adjustment. It’s all part of the self-learning process!
We hope these tips have been helpful to you. And if you’re ever unsure of where to start or how to start, come chat with folks at the Student Wellness Center. Schedule a Wellness Check In or come visit us at our new space in Berry library. Afterall, wellness isn’t something that just happens, it requires effort, and sometimes, help from others. And that’s why we’re here – so you don’t have to navigate Dartmouth alone.
Sincerely,
Mishka Murad, PhD
Power and Equity Specialist | Sexual Violence Prevention Program
Pronouns: she, her, hers