“I like you as you are

Exactly and precisely

I think you turned out nicely

And I like you as you are”

– Fred Rogers ’50

In our last week examining Brave Connections, we will explore self-acceptance as an act of courage. Fred Rogers ’50 wrote the song “I Like You As You Are” (1968) and many others to help the child in each of us grasp just how worthy and lovable we are for doing nothing sensational other than being ourselves. But a lesser-known fact is that even the amazing Mister Rogers himself wrestled with self-acceptance, and it is believed that the songs he wrote about self-respect were indeed personal mantras. As we stride bravely into the unfamiliar territory of self-acceptance, know that this undertaking will require us to face and embrace our true selves—all the strengths and vulnerabilities that come with— without judgment or criticism. Herein lies our true challenge.

There are many ways to practice self-acceptance. Here are just a few to get you started:

1. Face vulnerabilities and practice non-judgement. It takes courage to acknowledge our shortfalls. But it takes even more to face them with curiosity and open-mindedness. Practicing non-judgment ultimately means we are refraining from labeling thoughts or experiences as “good” or “bad” and are instead approaching them with an acceptance and a willingness to explore. Try this Headspace suggestion for exploring and overcoming Doubt. Or this one for Manifesting Compassion. Use a SWC guided meditation practice to Label Thoughts as they arise. By using the language of non-judgement, we can silence our inner critics and kickstart the empowering process of loving ourselves unconditionally.

2. Challenge societal expectations. Recognize how societal expectations (i.e. gender roles, educational achievement, career success, physical appearance, etc.) can be imposed on us by our loved ones and the larger spheres of influence around us. These standards can be internalized and pose as damaging to our feelings of self-worth as they are often unrealistic and force upon us unrealistic ideals of perfection. Defying conformity is not only brave but an essential way for us to honor ourselves authentically. Release comparison. Present yourself honestly to others. Cherish your unique journey.

3. Choose love over fear. Ultimately, self-acceptance is a choice we make. And while everyone’s journey to self-acceptance is different, one thing remains true: the decision to love ourselves is a harder one to make than succumbing to fear and self-criticism. Though choosing to embrace self-love and humanity is a difficult endeavor, Fred conveyed its significance in his address to Dartmouth graduates: “I’m talking about that part of you that knows that life is far more than anything you can ever see, or hear, or touch. That deep part of you, that allows you to stand for those things, without which humankind cannot survive. Love that conquers hate. Peace that rises triumphant over war. And justice that proves more powerful than greed.”

Self-acceptance is a transformative journey that empowers you to live fully and authentically. Along the way, you may bolster your emotional wellbeing, resilience, and your ability to connect more genuinely with those around you. As we dive into finals week, you may find yourself under greater pressure than normal. Now is as good a time as any to practice accepting yourself fully, no matter what happens externally. And if it helps, try repeating the wise and centering words of Mister Rogers: “I like you as you are.”

Mindfulness and the RAIN practice (Recognize, Allow, Investigate, Nurture) can play a significant role in fostering brave connections by promoting self-awareness, empathy, and a willingness to engage with vulnerability. Here are four actionable steps you can take to integrate mindfulness and the RAIN practice into your journey of building brave connections:

1. Embrace Mindful Self-Reflection: Start by setting aside a few minutes each day for mindful self-reflection. This practice helps you become more aware of your emotions, reactions, and biases. By understanding your own inner world, you lay the foundation for building genuine connections with others.

2. Apply the RAIN Meditation Practice to Tough Interactions. When facing challenging interactions, use the RAIN practice to navigate through them:
   1. Recognize: Take a moment to acknowledge your feelings, thoughts, and bodily sensations.
   2. Allow: Give yourself permission to experience these emotions without judgment or suppression.
   3. Investigate: Dig deeper into the underlying emotions and triggers, gaining insight into your responses.
   4. Nurture: Offer yourself compassion, recognizing that vulnerability is part of being human.

3. Practice Empathetic Listening with Mindful Presence: In your conversations, practice empathetic listening through mindfulness. Be fully present as the speaker shares, focusing on their words, emotions, and body language. By doing so, you create a safe environment where others can express themselves authentically.

4. Embrace Mindful Bravery Beyond Comfort Zones: Utilize mindfulness to navigate unfamiliar territory. Notice any resistance or fear that arises when connecting with individuals different from you. Through mindfulness, acknowledge these feelings and choose to step into discomfort with an open mind, nurturing brave connections.

Integrating mindfulness and the RAIN practice into your daily life helps to equip you with emotional intelligence, self-awareness, and empathy. These qualities can support you to establish authentic connections that are grounded in understanding and authenticity.