Written by Carmen Rodriguez, Assistant Director for Student Transitions & Persistence, Academic Skills Center
As an academic coach and course instructor for College 101 and The Mindful Academic, I often hear questions like, “Why am I struggling to motivate myself?” and “How do I stop procrastinating?” A similar pattern is then described: Little trouble finding motivation to complete familiar, comfortable tasks. Trouble motivating on bigger, less-familiar tasks. You might replace the bolded words with daunting, time-consuming, tedious, confusing, high-impact, etc.
When we get curious about this pattern, we find that discomfort–or rather one’s undefined relationship with discomfort–can lead to a reflexive, “Let’s get out of here!” response. One minute you’re working through a difficult problem set, and the next, you’re watching YouTube, Tik Tok, taking an extended break, organizing, powering through less-important HW, or napping. You get the idea.
But what if stepping into discomfort–once the opportunity appears–became an intentional, primary goal? In “Motivating Personal Growth by Seeking Discomfort,” researcher’s Kaitlin Wooley and Ayelet Fishbach concluded that discomfort as the primary goal, rather than learning itself, was more likely to increase task endurance and calculated risk. Both are vital when you’re trying to push your way through a tough assignment: cue essay, test prep, project, internship application, and more. But how to do that with a little more ease? Here are 3 intentional strategies to get you started:
- Start to notice your patterns. Get curious: What assignments are you stepping away from? How often? What distracting comforts do you seek when you move away? (Social media, productive procrastination, naps, unplanned social connection–all valid pursuits in the right time and place.) Ask yourself, are these diversions in response to discomfort with the current task?
- Accept your discomfort. If discomfort is present, recognize and reframe it as a normal response to unfamiliar territory. (Thank you, nervous system for doing your job of trying to protect me!) And so much of learning is unfamiliar territory! You might even be playful with your discomfort. Give it a name. “Hi, Tabitha. Thanks for showing up again! You’re super dependable. Would you like tea?” In many ways, discomfort just wants permission to coexist in the room with you, like a favorite pet.
- Practice non-judgement. Decide discomfort is neither good nor bad. However, our response to discomfort can determine whether we meet certain goals or not. For example, if you kick Tabitha out every time she shows up, and she always accompanies newer, highly difficult learning and tasks, then you’ll probably delay that type of learning and task and won’t utilize all the time you have to master that topic. This is simply cause and effect. However, if you decide to make peace with Tabitha, then the two of you will spend tons of quality time together, (BFFs forever!) and that is very good for that essay, project, or problem set you’re trying to finish.
- Start slowly. Developing a more relaxed relationship with discomfort can be hard. At first, you’re very likely to feel a nervous system response–again, totally normal–but that means we have to proceed slowly to develop our tolerance. So, set a timer for 5 or 10 minutes and ease into that project. Be sure to offer yourself self-regulation tools to soothe that nervous system along the way, specifically before, during, and after each session
Finally, and above all else, invite a third party into your new relationship with discomfort: Hello, Self Compassion! We’re all a work in progress and opening ourselves up to the most human version of ourselves, one that feels a variety of emotions–pleasure, discomfort, and everything in between–is powerful work. With self-compassion, we intentionally treat ourselves with the same loving-kindness that we would extend to our friends and family. In doing so, we give ourselves permission to transform again and again and again.
-Carmen