Written by Armita Mirkarimi, ’25

“Thank you for your interest.” 

“We regret to inform you that…” 

“After careful consideration…” 

“It was a highly competitive application cycle.” 

These are the phrases I associate most with failure. The blue light from my computer shines onto my irises and my mind plays a trick on me. Instead of the “Thank you for your interest” sentence on the page, I only see the following: “Sorry, we can’t give you this job or let you into this school because there are millions of people who are so much smarter and better than you and we picked one of those people instead of you. Have a nice life.” 

My eyes swell up with tiny droplets that I try to swallow alongside a tightness in my chest. And then the doom thinking starts. I retrace my steps: Were there typos in my resume? Was my cover letter not well-written? Was I too loud during the interview? Or maybe I was too quiet? What did I do wrong? Or worse—What if other people find out I failed? 

For most of us, failure is something we like to run away from. Maybe we haven’t really experienced failure before so anything other than success feels like a colossal defeat. Or perhaps we really really wanted whatever opportunity we applied for and started imagining our lives with that job or school or person. We started thinking about how hard we would laugh and how perfect everything would be with it. And then it starts to rain and we are left with a version of life we were not expecting. 

I have long been perplexed by why failure stings so much and why we try to run away from it. For me at least, the reasons are twofold. First, I attach my self-worth to the things I do. Think about it. When people ask, “Tell me about yourself,” the answer is followed by the activities we do. Our occupations. Second, it just feels good to succeed (by our own definitions). The validation of “Congratulations!” is a dopamine rush. But failure is not something we can outrun. As much as it sucks, what if we embraced it? What if we chose to radically welcome it into our lives? Maybe, together, we can redefine failure. 

It’s not easy and it will most definitely take practice but here is my short list of redefining failure, taking everyday action, and even failing forward toward the life that we want: 

1. You’re allowed to sit in sadness. You can feel sad, angry, or frustrated when you fail. It’s a part of being human. Let yourself feel your feelings and process the rejection. Maybe that means being alone or listening to a certain kind of music. I personally love to go on a long drive by myself, cry, and blast Adele. Reflect: What’s gonna make you feel better? You know yourself better than anyone else. 

2. Remind yourself that your worth as a human does not come from the internship you got, your GPA, or the failure in question. Whether it’s saying it out loud or writing it on paper, you are valuable and deserve love because of your character, and who you are as a person. Your kindness and energy, are not the numbers on your resume. 

3. Seek out fun and joy. I know it may sound cliche but what if you picked up an activity just because it was fun? Who cares if you’re not good at it? What if you tried to intentionally pick up that hobby you know you won’t be perfect at and had fun failing at it? For me, this is skiing!  

It’s easy to write, “embrace failure” on the page but so much harder to actually put it into practice. After all, it’s not fun to feel like you’re not good enough. But maybe the point of this all is to embrace the uncomfortable. The more we put ourselves out there and fail, the more of the world we see, and the further our brains expand.

Let’s move forward together,

Armita Mirkarimi, ’25

Written by Andre Betancur, Power and Equity Specialist, Student Wellness Center

Dear Dartmouth,  

As we move into the third week of the spring semester and into the month April, we would like to remind everyone that April is Sexual Assault Action Month (SAAM). Following the theme of “Everyday Action”, we believe that each and every member of our community holds within them the potential to utilize their own personal power to positively influence the lives and behaviors of others, especially in moments where sexual violence can happen. We recognize that many students may feel a sense of powerlessness and have no idea how to even begin recognizing their own power, let alone utilizing it for good. Luckily, our Sexual Violence Prevention Project team has been working on how to teach you all to identify where you hold power and how you can use it for good.  

Here are some key tips for recognizing and utilizing power: 

Understand that power can look and feel different for all of us. You may think of power on an unfathomably large scale or only recognize power when someone with formal credentials (like our President) is using their power in ways which affect everyone. However, power also exists on an individual level and there’s a good chance you’re using your power in ways you’re not even aware of. Some examples of ways Dartmouth students use their power include: 

• Giving directions to a lost student 
• Referring friends to campus resources  
• Being a UGA and looking out for residents  

Understand that power is contextual. Our perception or reality of having power or not having power can change many different times throughout our day and is based on a variety of factors including our identities, the location we’re in, and our level of knowledge or comfort in any given situation.  

Know that you’re not alone in wanting to use your power to prevent sexual violence and change the culture at Dartmouth. Trying to tackle an issue like sexual violence is not an easy feat and certainly not something any of us can do alone. Even though so many of us are doing our part to prevent sexual violence on campus, it can still be tiring work. When we bravely choose to use our power for good, we have to remember to give ourselves the time and space to recharge and recenter ourselves. Making sure we do take that time to be kind to ourselves and engage in some self-care, we greatly reduce the chance of burnout and ensure we have the capacity to continue charging forward in our efforts to create greater culture change on campus.

We believe that each and every member of our community holds within them the potential to utilize their own personal power to positively influence the lives and behaviors of others, especially in moments where sexual violence can happen.

Now that we’ve sprung into Sexual Assault Action Month, we all have an opportunity to take the concept of “Everyday Action” and put it into practice. Begin identifying where you and others hold power, recognize how that power can be used for good, and know that those moments when you use your power for good, no matter how small, help create real palpable change on our campus.