Written by Andre Betancur, Power & Equity Specialist

When I was younger, I feared problem solving and decision making. I hated being paralyzed by the stress of “doing the right thing” while also wanting to get through whatever challenge faced me as quickly as I could in order to go back to a state of contentment and certainty. Instead of seeing challenges as opportunities for growth or learning, I saw them as tests that I was destined to fail over and over again.

I’ve only recently realized that I hold the power to face challenging situations with intentionality and control. The key to doing this is by developing a deeper awareness of my needs and understanding how I will proceed with assertively, yet compassionately, protecting the space I need to pause and respond with intentionality in a given situation. Setting boundaries always seemed like something that had a singular and ultimately self-serving benefit. I realize now, however, that boundary setting can be employed as an active strategy that empowers me to handle challenging situations with greater clarity and confidence.

The ways in which setting boundaries allows us to separate ourselves from challenging situations and proceed intentionally are plentiful and include (but are not limited to):

1. Preventing Over-Commitment: Knowing what you can handle and how much of it you can handle goes a long way in avoiding being overwhelmed. Limiting responsibility greatly reduces burn-out and the feeling of being stuck in challenging situations. I know this one can be hard, especially at a place like Dartmouth where the pressure to have a laundry list of achievements can feel almost mandatory, but remember that the key to success lies within knowing your limits.

2. Building Emotional Distance: The thing that makes the challenges we face in life so difficult to confront sometimes are the emotions that come with them. Anger. Fear. Sadness. These are all valid and often unavoidable emotions we have to experience in life but that doesn’t mean they have to consume us. There are so many issues worth caring about, issues that people should care about, but it’s impossible for one single person to solve every problem in the world. Simply acknowledging that not every problem is yours to solve and detaching yourself from the ones that are not aligned with your immediate priorities opens up more space for the problems most pressing in your life.

3. Practicing Self-Care: The concept of self-care gets touted as the magic fix to all of the stresses of life which can make the suggestion of it seem hollow. But the truth is that the prioritization of your physical and mental health has a profound impact on your ability to handle the stress that accompanies challenging situations. I think about this a lot when I reflect on my work in sexual violence prevention. I know for a fact that if I wasn’t checking in with myself regularly to ensure I’m doing okay and not on the brink of collapse, I wouldn’t be able to do my work effectively or even at all. What does self-care look like to you? Is it pausing to breathe? Or finding joy in gentle movement or a creative outlet?

While that wasn’t an exhaustive list of different ways to set boundaries and how they give you the power to handle challenging situations, it is a good place to start. Where are you already setting boundaries and how are they serving you? Where might you need to start setting them and in what manner?

Written by Zhuoya Zhang

“The purpose of eating is to eat.” – Thích Nhất Hạnh

When I was a child, my mom brought me a popsicle when she returned from the supermarket in the summer. I always took my time to eat it. I remembered eating it in the sun in our backyard, feeling the orange-flavored ice melting with the cream inside my mouth. I was so happy. I was just there with the popsicle, looking at the sky, the grass, and the flowers around me. Sometimes, the ice melted too fast, dripping to the ground, and I shared a bit of the popsicle with the ants on the ground. I could be there with my popsicle because I had no worries and was carefree. I had nothing to plan about. I was just there, simply enjoying my popsicle and the summer weather.

It is still possible to eat meals so peacefully and joyfully, just like how I savored my popsicle as a child. You may have the impression that you have lost that popsicle, that cookie, that chocolate of your childhood. But it is always there in your heart. I also used to think that taking the time to eat mindfully felt like a luxury. Later, I learned that it is counterproductive to eat mindlessly. When I pause and eat mindfully, I relax and enjoy my food more. I feel more nourished afterward. Now, I see mindful eating as self-care. We all deserve a break like this to pause and savor our food.

Mindful eating is an important mindfulness practice. But it is simple.

1. We sit at the table with our food. We put away our phones and close our laptops and books. If we are with other people, we wait for them to be seated and have their food.
2. We take a few deep breaths. We may even silently repeat a mantra while breathing, “breathing in, I calm my body. Breathing out, I smile.”
3. We can also look at our food and how colorful and nutritious it is. We may feel gratitude coming from our hearts, appreciating the care and effort it takes to have this meal on this table.
4. We can look at the people we are sharing this meal and this moment and smile at each other. Wishing them to enjoy their meal.
5. Once we start eating, we can bring that attentiveness to the food: the taste, the temperature, the texture, and the movement of our mouths and hands.
6. There is no need to eat the whole meal this way. Just a few bites of eating with mindfulness would already make the entire experience more enjoyable.

I also found these books helpful when learning about mindful eating and mindful living

• How to Eat (plumvillage.org/book/how-to-eat)
• Savor (plumvillage.org/books/savor)
• Peace Is Every Step (parallex.org/product/peace-is-every-step/)

I learned from experience that how tasty the food is directly linked to how mindful I am eating it. Please give it a try 🙂 Bon appetite!

Author Bio: Zhuoya is a third-year PhD student in the Quantitative Biomedical Sciences program. She researches how mindfulness impacts college students’ well-being. Zhuoya is also a lay practitioner of mindfulness who practices in the Plum Village Tradition established by Zen Master Thích Nhất Hạnh. Zhuoya loves grabbing mindful meals or coffee alone or with friends. If you’d like to join her, please email her at zhuoya.zhang.gr@dartmouth.edu