Dear Dartmouth,

As I think back over conversations I’ve had during my three years on staff here, I can recall a number of phrases I’ve heard from students that give me glimpses of the distinctive experience here. One that stands out is short and to the point:

Work hard, play hard.

In my first year, I nodded when I heard it. It told me that Dartmouth students are driven, capable, goal-oriented people, committed to achieving significant accomplishments. Working hard made sense. And playing hard, as a release from the grind, seemed like a logical and normal balance to all of that effort.

In my second year, “work hard, play hard” seemed like it was less about what the students I was speaking with wanted for themselves, and more about perceived expectations from others. This also made sense to me. The people and the culture around us do much to shape our understanding of who and how we should be, and hard work is valued more often than not. But I started to wonder when, exactly, anyone was getting a break to rest and recharge. Playing hard seemed less like a release and more like a coping mechanism for the stresses of termly life.

By my third year, the initial respect I had given to “work hard, play hard” had worn thin. I had encountered too many individuals willing to push themselves to extreme lengths despite the consequences of this lifestyle. I realized there was even an expectation of burnout – that at some point it would all get to be too much, but in the absence of options, the best choice was to simply keep running forward, hoping to make it through.

As someone who works in wellbeing, I want to say this clearly:

“Work hard, play hard” is not about being well.

At the end of the day, if you’re working hard and playing hard, it sort of sounds like every part of your life is…well…hard.

This could be understandable if it were true that life needs to be hard in order to achieve anything worthwhile. But the idea that you must sacrifice your wellbeing in order to achieve meaningful accomplishments is simply not true and sets up a false dichotomy between doing well and being well.

A profound living example regarding the relationship between wellbeing and performance at the moment is Simone Biles. Widely regarded as the best gymnast of her time, and perhaps of all time, she stepped away from Olympic competition in order to preserve her wellbeing. As Robert O’Connell wrote for The Atlantic, at her press conference following her decision, she “revised the language of greatness, positioning it as something to be tended to and mindfully maintained, not drawn on ad nauseam. Her most telling words rejected the false dichotomy between personal well-being and professional excellence, instead pointing to the former as a precondition of the latter.”

To quote Biles directly, “I say put mental health first, because if you don’t, you’re not going to enjoy your sport and you’re not going to succeed as much as you want to.” In this statement, she offers some insight into what creates the opportunity to achieve at the highest level. It’s telling that she does not say words like “grind,” “hustle,” or “persevere.” Instead, she links success with joy. In describing the context of this particular competition at the end of the article, O’Connell writes, “it wasn’t joyful, so she couldn’t fly through the air in the way we’re used to seeing. That tells us something crucial, and beautiful, about the times when she could.”

And this is where our monthly theme may have something to offer in terms of challenging the work hard, play hard culture. Is it possible that making more space for joy, and even playfulness might actually be necessary in order to achieve all that you’re hoping? And if you were to do so, how would that shift your experience as a Dartmouth student?

At the SWC, we’re playing with a new phrase that we’d love for you to consider:

Work playfully, play joyfully.

There are, of course, two parts to this phrase, so let’s do some quick unpacking.

For the first part, ask yourself what it would look like to take a more playful approach to your studies. Playfulness has much to do with being present, in the moment, caught up in what you’re doing. It involves giving your attention fully to your activity, and approaching your tasks in a centered way, with calm and clarity. Maybe most important, it involves curiosity and a willingness to experiment – which of necessity requires a release of perfectionism. The freedom this creates opens up possibilities that can only be realized in the absence of limitations to what you already know or can do.

The beauty of this approach is that it suggests that there is more to success than hard work. It does not negate the challenge, but instead proposes finding some joy, or interest, or engagement with the work in order to make it more possible to sustain your efforts over time.

For the second component, consider how you spend your time away from work. Does the way that you “play hard” bring a genuine sense of joy to your life? If not, are there other things you could be doing that would be more fulfilling? And what would it take to step out of the expectations for what you do with your time so that you could instead do what you want?

Take some time to reflect about the experiences that genuinely bring you a sense of joy. Maybe even consider inviting a friend to do this with you and compare notes. What things do you have in common that could create shared joyful experiences, what things are distinctive to you in particular, and how might you make more space for all of these things in your life? Most importantly, consider how to do this in a way that would make these things restorative in a way that playing hard was not?

Work playfully, play joyfully.

Play with the idea. Give it some time. Maybe even give it a try and see how it feels. You never know – you might enjoy yourself more and experience more success as a result.

Take care and be well,
Todd