Dear Dartmouth,

It’s Spring Term! A new term is a fresh opportunity to reset yourself mentally, physically, emotionally, spiritually. A chance to refocus, recenter, and re-envision who and how you are as a Dartmouth student and a person in the world. And finally, it’s an opportunity to take a deep breath, let your mind settle on what you want this term to be about, and then put things in motion.

With all of this in mind, we’re focusing on the topic of purpose to start this term, and encouraging you to join us in an intentional (and even purposeful) way! Here’s how my intention-centered colleague, LB, described this month’s theme:

“Purpose on Purpose… …is all about taking time to pause and reflect on what truly matters to us, where we are actually headed and more importantly the “why” behind all of that. It’s about aligning our actions with our values and asking ourselves, ‘HOW is it that I want to live my life right NOW?’.”

Personally, I’m thinking about all of this through the lens of running. About a month ago, I decided I wanted to increase my physical activity, and for whatever reason, running was what had the most appeal for me. As someone with little experience running, I launched myself into it – gasping for air, pausing to walk when needed, and generally matching my experience with expectations like “running is hard,” “it’s not supposed to be fun it’s a workout,” and “if you can’t push through then that’s on you.” I wasn’t thinking too much about why I was doing this. I just knew something in me wanted to move.

While doing some reading about mindfulness for work, I happened across an article that described the author’s experience running with the Nike Run Club app. She particularly focused on the ‘guided runs’ that Nike had developed in collaboration with Headspace that integrated mindfulness principles with the practices of effective running. Intrigued, I downloaded the app and on my next run, headed out for the 20 minute guided “First Run,” which was not connected to Headspace, but seemed like a sensible place to start.

Over the past 8 years, I’ve helped to develop coaching programs that focus on student wellbeing for several colleges and universities, and provided direct coaching to a number of students. But I’ve never really been coached before myself. So even though I knew all of the principles in play, it was still a shock to me that within the first minute of this run, the voice in my ear asking me to check in with myself seemed to understand my experience with such clarity. That voice belonged to Nike Running Global Head Coach Chris Bennett, and in less than two minutes, he guided me to completely reset my perspective on the run I was engaged in at that moment.

He suggested that I was probably working too hard. He was right. He said that this first run was not about pace, distance, or duration – it was about starting it, ending it, and wanting to do a next run. I was curious. He told me to slow down. I didn’t. And then he said it again. I knew he wasn’t speaking to me directly, but it FELT LIKE IT because what he was describing so closely matched my experience. I slowed down. I focused on effort instead of pace. I felt better. I finished the run without needing to stop. I felt good in both body and mind, and was excited to go again. And to my surprise, my pace for that first run was actually a little faster, overall, than the labored runs I had been putting myself through prior to that moment.

What does all of this have to do with purpose, with Spring term, with you? At the heart of this coaching lie three big phrases that get repeated again and again: “This is about running,” “This is not about running,” and “Every run has a purpose.” For me, that first phrase meant that when I was running, I could let go of everything else and focus on the run at hand. The second phrase suggested that even though this was true, the things we learn about ourselves through any activity can inform every other part of our life. And the final phrase…well…that’s where the rubber really met the road for me.

Something fundamentally changed for me when I started thinking about the purpose of the run. Not any run. The run that I was on that day. The run I was engaged in at that moment. Each time the prompt came up, my mind flooded with possibilities: finding joy, getting over fear, building confidence, believing in my abilities, valuing myself enough to practice self-care, thinking about the contributions I want to make in the lives of the people in my family, my workplace, and my community… Suddenly I was running with purpose, and that did more than make the running meaningful in and of itself – it made running a part of what it means for me to live meaningfully.

Purpose as a core element of wellbeing refers to “a sense of clarity concerning personally meaningful aims and values that one is able to apply in daily life” (Dahl, Wilson-Mendenhall, & Davidson, 2020, p. 5). Stated slightly differently, purpose is “a forward-looking directionality, an intention to do something in the world,” says Anthony Burrow. “It’s different than a goal, which can be accomplished. Wanting to be a father is a goal because it is achievable. But to be a great father is more of an intention than an achievement. On some days, one might come closer to the ideal than others, but it is never a completed task.”

We invite to to take the beginning of this term an opportunity to get some clarity, to think about what’s meaningful for you and set some intentions for who you want to become and what kind of life you want to create for yourself. Much like every run has a purpose, we might also say that every term has a purpose. That purpose is made up of two big things: life aims and values.

Life aims provide an overarching narrative that can help you make sense of life, so consider:

• When you look back on this term, what is the story you will most want to tell about this time in your life?

Values guide your behavior, helping you persevere through challenges by orienting toward what is personally meaningful and important. They inform “how” you go through life each day, so also consider:

• How do you want to show up in life this term, both for yourself and for others? What qualities do you most want others to see in you?

You might even take this process to a more granular level, considering that each week of the term brings different challenges. So perhaps every week has a purpose or purposes that are unique compared to the others. However you want to approach this, just know that this is not a peripheral, detached exercise. A strong sense of purpose has been directly linked with many benefits for wellbeing, including better physical health, mental health, and academic achievement.

This is something that you can do for yourself, something that can help you move, step by step, day by day, week by week, and term by term, ever closer to who you want to be, how you want to live your life, and what you want to contribute to the lives of others in the world around you.

And you might just feel better and DO better as a result.

We hope you’ll join us at this starting line. And as always, we’re ready to meet you on each of the starting lines that will appear along the way over the next 10 weeks. Please explore what we have to offer, and don’t ever hesitate to reach out.

Take care and be well,
Todd

 

Follow up note from Todd: 4/20/2021

I just read a fascinating article by Adam Grant in the NY Times on how the pandemic has impacted our mental health and wellbeing. While it does not speak directly to the topic of purpose, I thought one of the most interesting findings is that flow (i.e. absorption in a meaningful challenge where your sense of time, place and self melts away) is the most effective antidote for languishing. So following this wellbeing process, it seems like purpose keeps me running, running helps me access a flow state, and regularly experiencing flow helps me thrive. All of which begs the questions:

Where do you experience flow in your life, and how could you use purpose to access that flow state more regularly in your daily or weekly activities? 

Dear Dartmouth,

We’ve been focusing on the importance of taking time to replenish and recharge for your wellbeing this month. We are hopeful that you were able to use at least part of the break to step back from the hamster wheel of busy-ness and productivity and offer yourself a chance to rest. It has been a year of varying degrees of challenge and loss for everyone in our community, and it is not realistic to expect your energy to be a bottomless resource. When we’re offered opportunities to pause and restore ourselves, it’s really important to take full advantage.

That said, it can feel very difficult to “shift gears” from being in full-on productivity mode to genuine relaxation, and then back again. This is even more true in an environment that reinforces your desire to achieve or produce in order to gain external validation. At Dartmouth, this has likely contributed to what some call the “work hard play hard” culture. In this culture EVERY activity including the things you do for fun over your weekends and breaks can either produce feelings of guilt, or FOMO, or simply become new opportunities to go all out – pushing your own limits in the hopes of some recognition that may or may not come your way.

With all of that in mind, as we head into S21 we want to encourage you to consider experimenting with a new mindset for how you approach both your on-time and your down-time as a way to sustain your energy and your wellbeing over the course of a term. One example of this mindset comes from the work of Greg McKeown on what he has termed “Essentialism,” or the “disciplined pursuit of less.”

McKeown suggests that the word “priority” entered the English language in the 15th century but was never used in the plural (i.e. “priorities”) until the 20th century. This insistence on the singular makes a lot of sense, given that while there can be many important things, only one can be the most important at any given moment. But we have strayed further and further from this recognition, creating a world where concepts like “multitasking” have become the norm. And all of this can make it harder than ever to sort out what matters most at any given point in time.

As such, many of our lives can look or feel more like the image on the left at the top of this post. Our energy – an exhaustible resource – becomes diluted across a number of different activities, each demanding a certain amount of attention and focus. Moreover, the cognitive demands of switching from task to task further depletes us, draining our ability to do our best work and obscuring our ability to perceive where we need to put our attention as urgency begins to outweigh importance.

As a result, you may find that the characteristics in the “non-essentialist” column below better describe your life than those that make up the “essentialist” list:

If you’re ready to try something new, McKeown’s process for embracing essentialism is simple and powerful:

1. Explore: Determine which activities will carry you furthest toward your goals
2. Eliminate: Let go of as many non-essential tasks or activities as possible
3. Execute: Put your energy into what matters most (see the image on the right at the top of this post)!

You can implement this process several ways. It can be a daily or weekly reflection where you consider all the things you want to accomplish in a certain time frame and rank them according to priority. Once you have them ranked, cross off everything except the ACTUAL priority at the top of the list, and schedule some concentrated, focused time into your planner to advance that priority before considering any of your other demands.

It could also be a larger process that you undertake prior to launching into each new term (or for those of you about to graduate, whatever will come next). Consider what is most important to you this Spring (i.e. where you want to put your energy) and what is siphoning off your energy needlessly (i.e. where you no longer want to put your energy) and then plan your involvement accordingly.

In either case, this might involve learning how to say “no” or establishing some boundaries which can feel risky or awkward at first, especially if some expectations have been established regarding your responsiveness to the needs of others. There will always be external demands on your energy and attention, some of which will be things that you “have” to do, regardless of how much you may actually “want” to do them.

The goal, however, is for this process to be empowering for you. To quote McKeown, “If you don’t prioritize your life, someone else will.” Ultimately, this is about more than time management, and even more than energy management. It’s about taking ownership of the life you want to create for yourself rather than following someone else’s lead.

Next month, our wellbeing theme will shift to “Purpose on Purpose,” and we’ll continue to explore this idea of a more intentional approach to both your daily life AND the life you want to be living in the future. We hope you’ll join us on this journey. And as always, we are here to support you along the way. Please explore what we have to offer, and don’t ever hesitate to reach out!

Take care and be well,
Todd

Dear Dartmouth,

March is an alliterative season here in the North Country: mud to some and maple syrup to others, but as much as our team values mindfulness, meaning, movement, and moments of connection, this March we’re tapping into the letter “R” for our monthly wellbeing theme of “Replenish and Recharge.”

My insightful colleague, LB, wrote the following about this theme:

“Replenish and Recharge…is all about considering the things that bring you a sense of peace, rest, and even playfulness (solitude, friends, music, dancing, nature, a good book) and allowing time and space to commit to things that are just for you. Simply put, it’s taking the time to recognize when things are tough, and to offer up care for yourself.”

I don’t know about you, but I find it pretty straightforward to recognize that things are tough right now. This month marks a year (A YEAR!!!) since the COVID-19 pandemic fundamentally altered our lives here at Dartmouth. I don’t know if the thought even crossed my mind last March that so many of us would still be working and studying remotely. And even as we put our hope in the vaccines that show promise for new possibilities in how we live, we are simultaneously dealing with the challenge of effectively managing an escalation in positive cases among our campus community.

In short – no matter who you are, it’s been a lot. Were we to able to fully take in and grasp the enormity of the impact of COVID on our day to day routines, our economy and the professional opportunities available in our workforce, our health and wellbeing, and on the many families who have lost loved ones over the past year – it could send us reeling.

This seems like a good time, then, to pause, notice how this has all affected you, and identify ways to replenish and recharge for all that lies ahead.

In fact, perhaps this very moment would be a good time to STOP and check in with yourself. Take a deep breath and let it out slowly. If that feels good or helpful, take a few more. What’s going on for you right now, in this present moment? Without passing any judgment on yourself, notice what you’re thinking, feeling, worrying, grieving, or feeling grateful for today. And from this space of awareness, reflect on any or all of the following questions. It might be helpful to capture this in writing, pen to paper, as swiftly as possible. Resist the urge to edit or craft your words – just let them flow:

• What challenges are you facing right now?
• How do you know when it’s time to take a break from the demands and distractions of life and extend some genuine care toward yourself?
• Where have you found peace in the past year?
• What fortifies you and bolsters your resilience?
• And what do you need most right now?

March is a complex month. We know that you have a lot on your plate right now. It’s the end of the term, which means exams, papers and projects, and for some of you, moves to or from campus, all in addition to the demands of each day. And yet there is also Spring Break – a chance to step back from the busyness of the term and seek out opportunities to rest and reconnect. It might be helpful to check in with yourself throughout the month, as your needs might change dramatically over time.

If you’re looking for an opportunity to check in and also connect with others, we are excited to announce a Spring Break retreat that will be available to all Dartmouth students, wherever you are. And we’ll be here throughout the month as well, ready to support you however we can.

Please explore what we have to offer, and don’t ever hesitate to reach out!

Take care and be well,
Todd

Dear Dartmouth,

At the Student Wellness Center, our strengths-based perspective helps us to frame our work from a positive, inclusive, and empowering stance. Explicitly focusing on strengths themselves as resources for supporting the wellbeing of individuals, organizations, and communities can be an empowering way for us to thrive.

We introduced the concept of strengths and shared ways that you can learn more about your particular strengths constellation in our first Strengths Spotlight post. It’s fun to revisit the strengths-based lens now, as we explore kindness and connection together, as a strengths-based perspective can reinforce your stance of kindness toward yourself and others in and of itself. Believing that you have strengths within you, and using those strengths to resolve different challenges is a fundamentally kind approach to life.

If you’d like to identify your strengths prior to reading on, you can try the free, online VIA Survey of Character Strengths. The 24 strengths that make up this framework are considered universal, positive human capacities (e.g. honesty, bravery, creativity) that are valued in every culture and exist in every person.

The VIA is designed to illustrate only your strengths – NOT your weaknesses, so even though your results are presented as a subjective ranking of your strengths from 1-24 they are all strengths that you possess, and the ranking is more about the intentionality it requires for you to access and make use of them. Typically, the strengths at the top of your list tend to be qualities that you embody without even thinking about it. They frequently feel natural or effortless to engage and require little intention. By contrast, strengths that are lower on the list might feel like they take a bit more effort and willpower to enact, but they are still very much strengths that you possess.

If you’ve taken the VIA, consider the signature themes from your results (i.e. the top 6-8 strengths). If you haven’t taken the VIA, look at the 24 strengths in the image above and see which ones seem like the best fit for you. With those strengths in mind, consider the following:

• Which of these strengths are related to your ability to be kind to yourself or others?
• What does this look like for you? Try to come up with 2-3 examples of a time when a particular strength helped you to be kind.
• Which of these strengths are related to the way that you connect with others?
• What does this look like for you? Try to come up with 2-3 examples of a time when a particular strength helped you to connect authentically.
• Were there any instances where the same strength supported both kindness and connection? If so, how could you leverage those strengths more fully, or in new ways to broaden, deepen, or otherwise enhance the relationships in your life?

Perhaps some of the strengths where there are obvious connections like social intelligence or kindness will stand out, but allowing yourself to be open to any of the strengths could result in some interesting surprises. Maybe a strength like humility could boost your ability to be kind to yourself when you’ve experienced a setback by helping you accept that you’re as human as everyone else, and mistakes happen. There’s an expression that honesty is always ultimately a form of kindness, and perhaps you could find ways that your strength of honesty can help you connect with others by being more authentic too.

Before we wrap up, I want to mention an article that came out today (!) highlighting a new study that helped me understand the relationship between kindness, happiness, and wellbeing more fully. A meta-analysis of 126 research articles on the character strength of kindness, involving almost 200,000 participants from around the world concluded that kindness is positively associated with wellbeing in many ways – boosting happiness, self-esteem, physical health, and self-efficacy while buffering against depression and anxiety. The research suggests that being kind:

“may make us feel better about ourselves as a person or about the meaning of our lives, confirm our self-competence, distract us from our own troubles and stressors, give us a warm-glow feeling, or help us be more socially connected with others. All of these could potentially improve our well-being—reducing our stress, improving our mood, or providing community.”

Of course, every strength has the capacity to support your wellbeing by bringing good things to your life, but studies like this underscore the importance of kindness for connection, health, and happiness. Wishing you all a little more kindness, and a strong sense of connection.

Take care and be well,
Todd

Dear Dartmouth,

It’s February in New Hampshire. For the winter lovers among us, it’s a dream come true. With our snow-frosted trees and abundant opportunities for getting outdoors to enjoy the season, it’s fair to say that New Hampshire does winter well! We celebrate this season at Dartmouth in many ways, including the “Mardi Gras of the North,” our annual Winter Carnival.

Of course, whether or not you’re a winter fan, the weather conditions and the realities of living, working, and studying during the COVID outbreak also mean that this can be a challenging month for many people. So while it may seem obvious that you need to keep your body warm when the temps drop, here at the SWC we also want to emphasize other sources of warmth in your life. Our wellbeing theme for February is Kindness and Connection, about which my colleague, LB wrote:

“Kindness and Connection is all about making time in your life for others. Whether it’s through the simple enjoyment of another’s company or the giving and receiving of support from one another, connecting with kindness and authenticity can help bolster all the other elements in your life that need your attention.”

We know that relationships can feel difficult even at the best of times, and we also know that there are few things that have a greater impact on our wellbeing. Kindness and connection can awaken a deep sense of happiness and joy in us that can sustain us through the toughest of challenges. So this month, we want to reconnect with our wellbeing pathway of connecting authentically, and do so in a way that emphasizes the role of kindness in that process.

The first relationship that might be worth considering is the one you have with yourself. Do you relate to yourself from a place of kindness? Many of the people I’ve known over the years have found this to be a struggle at times. It can be easy to believe that there is something wrong with us that needs to be fixed, to hold ourselves to unrealistic standards, to override our intuition and our feelings with “shoulds.” Here’s a quick self-test. Read the following sentence and notice what comes up:

“I’m not ______ enough”

If you found thoughts immediately springing to mind to fill in that blank, it may be a good time to consider what it would look like to extend kindness toward yourself. We sometimes recommend thinking about how you would talk to a best friend, and using that kind of language to replace any self-talk that you use to criticize yourself.

As you grow in kindness toward yourself, you might find yourself becoming more and more open to others. Howard Cutler describes people who can access happiness as “more sociable, flexible, and creative, and are able to tolerate life’s daily frustrations more easily than unhappy people. And most important, they are found to be more loving and forgiving that unhappy people.”

Sociability, flexibility, love and forgiveness are all qualities that can contribute to meaningful relationships, and also represent different ways that we can extend kindness to others. Of course, it’s not necessarily a lack of kindness that gets in the way of our relationships. One of the most common factors is simply busy-ness. It can be difficult to find the time to connect in ways that bring much-needed feelings of safety, belonging, understanding, and acceptance.

So, a second challenge that you might offer yourself this February is setting aside time to connect with others in the midst of the many other demands on your life. You might even be able to integrate some opportunities to connect into your existing schedule, through study groups, shared walks or meals, or inviting others to different campus events.

In addition to the activities listed above, February is also when Dartmouth hosts events for Black Legacy Month and Visibility, Dartmouth’s annual student-led campaign to promote gender equity and end gender- and power-based violence. Engaging with friends in the events that make up these programs could be an ideal way to bring more connection and kindness to your life.

I’m currently reading “The Book of Joy,” and keep thinking about the following passage:

“Some might wonder what our own joy has to do with countering injustice and inequality. What does our happiness have to do with addressing the suffering of the world? In short, the more we heal our own pain, the more we can turn to the pain of others. But in a surprising way, the way we heal our own pain is actually by turning to the pain of others. It is a virtuous cycle. The more we turn toward others, the more joy we experience, and the more joy we experience, the more we can bring joy to others….So being more joyful is not just about having more fun. We’re talking about a more empathic, more empowered, even more spiritual state of mind that is totally engaged with the world.”

For me, this captures the relationship between kindness, connection, justice, and equity, and how our practice of these qualities can bring both individual and community wellbeing.

All of us at the SWC are wishing you all a wonderful February, and we’re here if there are ways we can help. Please explore what we have to offer, and don’t ever hesitate to reach out!

Take care and be well,
Todd

Dear Dartmouth,

Dartmouth is hosting a celebration of the national Martin Luther King, Jr. holiday with events and opportunities for involvement both today and through the rest of the month. We encourage you to explore and participate in at least some of these offerings, especially those that may open you up to new ways of seeing, thinking about, and/or understanding yourself, others, and the world we share.

The celebration theme this year is “Hope + Action,” based on a statement from Dr. King that “We must accept finite disappointment, but never lose infinite hope.” The context for this statement was, of course, the progression toward greater justice for all in the face of systemic racial inequity and it has become glaringly clear over the past year that systemic inequities persist – often perpetuated and supported by powerful organizations, interests, and governmental institutions. As such, this is an immediate and salient theme that offers itself up to each and all of us with a number of diverse opportunities for reflection.

I’ve been thinking about hope a lot lately, and the vital role it can play in our lives. At a moment when even our most basic practices of democracy seem to be at risk, it would be easy to buy into a meta-narrative of divisiveness and despair, of us and them (and on some level, of presumed good and evil), and assume that the capacity for a better future is simply beyond us. So, in scanning a portion of Dr. King’s legacy of written and spoken transcripts, a quote that had particular resonance for me this year was as follows: “Every [person] must decide whether [they] will walk in the light of creative altruism or the darkness of destructive selfishness. This is the judgment. Life’s most persistent and urgent question is, ‘What are you doing for others?’”

For me, this is the necessary bridge from hope to action. The horizon of my hope must encompass more than my own benefit and yield actions that contribute to the wellbeing of others. This is, of course, not purely altruistic, but is ultimately in my own best interest as well. We thrive together, or not, so engaging in the work of changing inequitable systems and ensuring equal access to both fundamental rights and opportunities benefits everyone. Ultimately, each of our wellbeing is more than an individual reckoning. We are caught up with one another, and can only realize a better future together.

I take comfort in the fact that this is not an original idea, but instead seems to be our foundational approach to life. In his book “Humankind: A Hopeful History,” Rutger Bregman makes the case that the preponderance of the evidence across history suggests that human beings are, in fact, fundamentally good-natured and other-oriented. He advances his thinking into a powerful argument for the need for hope, as opposed to cynicism, as a way of empowering radical, positive change, summarized neatly in this 2020 interview with NPR:

”I’m just saying that we have to remember here that cynicism is, in the first place, it’s a synonym for laziness. It sort of gives you an excuse to do nothing. And in the second place, it’s often used as a legitimization of hierarchy, because if we cannot trust each other, then we need them – we need the CEOs and the monarchs and the generals and the kings and you name it. But if we can actually trust each other, if we do have the courage to move to a more realistic, hopeful view of human nature, then we can move to a very different kind of society as well — and build very different kinds of schools and democracies and workplaces.”

Bringing this back to our local perspective, President Hanlon recently wrote the challenging and empowering statement that, even given the seemingly intractable challenges of the world, “at Dartmouth we will forever remain hopeful,” and then detailed the institutional actions that this hope is producing. With these initiatives underway, perhaps it is important for each of us to consider what it might look like if we were to consider ourselves and others in our Dartmouth community through this hopeful lens. What would happen if we believed that we are people capable of bringing about even more of the change that is needed for our community to thrive? What actions might that yield?

With those larger questions in mind, as you observe and engage with this important holiday, ask yourself the following:

What are your hopes…
…for yourself,
…for those close to you,
…for those distant from you,
…for our community,
…for our nation(s),
…and for the world we all share?

And, what is one action you would like to take to move toward these hoped-for outcomes?

Try to keep your focus on what you hope FOR, as statements based on what you hope to avoid (e.g. “I hope I/we don’t…”) are actually an expression of the cynicism that keeps us stuck in place. And be sure to expand your reflection outwards. Often our personal hopes can get tangled up with our goals and desired accomplishments but engaging in a compassionate contemplation of the needs of others can take us into a more meaningful reflection about the things that matter most.

Wishing you hope that brings about meaningful action this MLK day and always,
Todd

Dear Dartmouth,

2020 – this year that has inspired more memes than any of us want to remember, is finally winding to a close. These last two weeks find us all in the midst of multiple transitions. We are changing terms, changing years, changing seasons, and doing so in the midst of even more changes brought about by an unfathomable number of different events that have all clustered in this one calendar year.

I know that, as I have started to slow down a bit recently, easing into the winter break, it has made me aware that all of this has taken a toll. It’s been a lot, and I’m tired. Maybe you are too. Wherever you are, and however you may be feeling, I hope that this winter break can be a time of reconnection and recreation, of restoration and rest. Eat, sleep, play, laugh, and pause now and then to take it all in.

One of the MANY things I love about this time of year are the many “best of” articles that appear, summing up the events and accomplishments of the prior 12 months. Whatever you’re into, whether it’s podcasts or books, cooking or sports, fashion or film, design or music, there are likely multiple lists out there that can connect you with new ideas, individuals, or releases that can enrich your life. And what makes this even better for me is that there’s actually the time and space to actually read them – especially when the world has offered you piles of snow that seem to make everyone and everything slow down a bit.

At the SWC, our work is largely focused on wellbeing, and we constantly scan the research literature for evidence and ideas that can further our mission of empowering our community to thrive. I suppose it makes sense, then, that one of the articles that stood out to me was a summary of the top 10 insights from different scientific studies of wellbeing from the past year, identified by the team at the Greater Good Science Center. I wanted to share it on our blog and encourage you to give it a look as a tool for reflection. What findings surprise you? Which connect with your lived experiences? And which spark a sense of genuine curiosity, creating a desire in you to learn more?

I find myself thinking a lot about the construct of psychological richness, and how that dimension might be just as important for my wellbeing as happiness, meaning or life satisfaction. The findings about phone calls have a stronger association with connection and happiness than texting might give me the motivation to set aside time for conversations with the people I’m missing right now. The many studies that explore connections between social justice, inequality, diversity, and wellbeing renew my commitment to making our SWC work ever more accessible and inclusive of everyone in our Dartmouth community. And the findings related to empathy and motivation are something I will do my best to apply in both the personal and professional dimensions of my life.

What might you take from this list and apply to your life in a way that could enhance your wellbeing in the new year? Or, if you’re not inspired by these findings, what have you learned and/or unlearned this past year that can help you more fully realize who you want to become and take steps toward creating the life you want to be living?

Finally, and most importantly, please know how much you matter. You are an irreplaceable part of our community, and we stand ready to support you in your challenges and to celebrate your accomplishments. Thanks for all that you bring to Dartmouth and to the world. We look forward to connecting with you in 2021, and wish you abundant peace, love, and wonder, now and into the new year.

Take care and be well,
Todd

Dear Dartmouth,

If it’s true that we are better at preparing ourselves to live than we are at living, then we need to ask ourselves what it might mean to be skillful at living. How might we live our lives in such a way that we, ourselves, come alive and flourish?

Our final pathway can in some ways be viewed as the culminating outcome of the prior wellbeing pathways. We contribute to our sense of meaning in life through experiences of belonging, purpose, storytelling, and transcendence. Each of these pillars of meaning can provide different elements that all make life worth living.

• Belonging is about relationships. It grows out of connecting authentically, and brings a sense of meaning by reminding us that we can be a helpful presence in the lives of others, and that we are worthy of love and acceptance.
• Purpose is about living our values. It grows out of intentional actions, and brings a sense of meaning by empowering us to live out the things that matter most to us in a way that is good for all beings.
• Storytelling is about crafting narratives for our lives that we want to be living. It is connected with our capacity for cultivating perspective, and reframing our experiences in ways that help us see the value in ourselves and others.
• Transcendence is about experiences that take us beyond the limits of our self. It is often associated with mindful engagement, and brings meaning through a sense of wonder and awe.

A meaningful life is one that feels is closely connected with your unique identities – both who you are and who you aspire to become – as well as the contribution(s) you most want to offer others and the world at large. It is about crafting a life that abounds with happiness, fulfillment, and wellbeing in a way that helps you thrive.

Ask Yourself (Reflective Questions)

• What makes life worth living? What are the things you cannot imagine living without? How can you make space for these bringers-of-meaning in your life, and how can you encourage more meaning in the lives of others?

Try This (Wellbeing Practices)

• Below are some prompts that you can use to create a daily/weekly “Thriving Journal” that you can integrate into your planner to be more intentional about making space for wellbeing in your day-to-day life:
  • Pathway 1 – Cultivating Perspective
    How can I frame this week in a way that will help me persevere toward my goals?
  • Pathway 2 – Engaging Mindfully
    Where will I have opportunities to engage fully in some way?
  • Pathway 3 – Connecting Authentically
    When and how do I want to connect with others this week?
  • Pathway 4 – Acting Intentionally
    What are my priorities for this week? How do I want to accomplish these things?
  • Pathway 5 – Living Meaningfully
    How do I want to feel and and what will I do this week to make this feeling possible?

As we wrap up this overview, we want to offer our thanks for the time and energy you have put into exploring your wellbeing. Our mission at the SWC is empowering our community to thrive, and we hope that this series of posts has offered you some new concepts and practices that will bring good things to your life.

Exploring the distinct ways that you experience wellbeing is a great way to understand and accept yourself more fully, and grow into your ability to be the primary expert in, and decision-maker for your own life. You can trust yourself to know and recognize what you need to thrive.

Finally, we want you to know that you don’t have to do any of this on your own. Our team wants you to do well AND be well. Please reach out if there are any ways that we can help to make that happen, and take advantage of the many additional resources on our site.

Sending love and support,
The Student Wellness Center Team

 

Dear Dartmouth,

Here in the United States, it is the morning following our Election Day. As of this moment, many outcomes are undecided, meaning that there is now further uncertainty for each of us to manage, and generally speaking, uncertainty is not great for our health and wellness. To promote your wellbeing in the midst of this pervasive instability, it might be helpful to focus on things that are within your control, and in that sense, it is as good a time as any to take up our fourth wellbeing pathway: Acting Intentionally.

Acting with intention involves making decisions and choosing actions and behaviors that are aligned with our values, who we want to be in the world, and what we need for our wellbeing and happiness.

This may sound complex or abstract, so consider this simple practice for starting your day called  “Let Go, Embrace, Focus.” Before you launch into the demands of your day, take 5 minutes for yourself and identify the following:

• Let Go – What is one thing (literally anything – a behavior, a belief, a worry, a hope, a goal, a thought, a relationship, a tension in your body) that you’d like to let go of today? Perhaps it is something that holds you back. Perhaps it is something that has started to feel more harmful than helpful. Visualize yourself physically letting this go, like a helium balloon or a backpack you can just set down and walk away.
• Embrace – Having let go of that thing, you might find that you now have some space or energy to fill its place with something new. What behavior, belief, hope, goal, thought, relationship, etc. would you like to make more space for, or try on in your life? How can you take one intentional step toward embracing this today?
• Focus – What requires your focus today? Sometimes the things that matter most can be displaced by distractions or demands to put our focus elsewhere. And sometimes we procrastinate because we feel uncertain about how to begin a project or question our ability to be successful. What could you prioritize today, giving it some energy and focus that would help you move one step closer to your goals?

Acting with intention is about putting your awareness into action. When you recognize the agency and wisdom you possess, it can empower you to take ownership of your life more fully, choosing actions and avenues that bolster your wellbeing on a daily basis.

Ask Yourself (Reflective Questions)

• Generally speaking, do I feel like my day to day life is aligned with what I care about and how I want to be living? If not, what changes would help me be more purposeful?
• How do I balance my own thoughts, ideas, goals, beliefs, and decisions with perspectives of the people around me? Where am I able to take ownership of my life, and where does my autonomy and agency feel supported or constrained by others?
• Would it be helpful to be more specific, or more open with the things I’d like to accomplish? Where would it be helpful to be more goal-oriented (specific) and where might it be liberating to shift from goals to intentions (where I can know that I’m moving in the right direction, even when I don’t have a set outcome in mind)?

Try This (Wellbeing Practices)

• Set goals in a way that works effectively for you
• Make those goals come alive by setting your intention
• Take ownership of who you will become

Explore Further (Dartmouth Resources)

• Contact your Undergraduate Dean for information and guidance regarding the experiences you want to create for yourself at Dartmouth
• Use the many resources at the Center for Professional Development to explore career possibilities that align with your values, interests, skills, and strengths

As you consider your options for responding to external events and forces that bring uncertainty to your life, we encourage you to return to the foundational skills of Cultivating Perspective, Engaging Mindfully, and Connecting Authentically to gain clarity on actions you can take that align with your strengths and values. And remember that you don’t have to do this alone. If further conversation would be helpful, please connect with us in a wellness check-in, or draw upon the many other resources available to you at Dartmouth.

Two weeks from now, we’ll wrap us this series by looking at how these first four pathways all contribute to the final component of our wellbeing framework: Living Meaningfully. Until then…

Take care and be well,
Todd

Dear Dartmouth,

Numerous research studies across many fields, involving a number of different contexts and cultures, and occurring at different points in human history have agreed upon one conclusive finding. Humans are profoundly social in nature, and the quality of our relationships is one of the most significant contributors to our wellbeing.

This week we continue our exploration of our wellbeing pathways with our third component: Connecting Authentically. This is a pathway that is primarily concerned with your ability to form meaningful, mutually supportive relationships and to feel a sense of belonging. You may have noticed the power of relationships related to your own wellbeing. Feeling secure in your relationships can bolster your ability to face any other challenges you may be experiencing, but when relationships feel more tenuous, it can affect your thoughts, feelings, and beliefs even when things are otherwise going well.

The inclusion of authenticity in this pathway highlights the importance of allowing others to know and see you for who you really are. It is, of course, a vulnerable act to be seen and known, but in the context of a trustworthy relationship, it is also a way to experience true validation of your inherent value, and to offer that validation to others.

Forming and maintaining good relationships requires an investment of your time and attention, and the demands and busy-ness of a rigorous academic context can limit your availability. Making time in your life to enjoy your connections with others, even when you have too much on your plate, can give you a boost of energy for everything else that requires your attention. And being there for others and allowing others to be there for you is how we can collectively create a caring community at Dartmouth.

Connecting authentically can also involve more than relationships. It can refer to your ability to connect inwardly, with your own values and strengths, to guide your decisions and actions in the world. In this sense, it bridges the reflective nature of the first two pathways with the next pathway we’ll discuss: Acting Intentionally.

Ask Yourself (Reflective Questions)

• Who have I connected with in an authentic manner? Who knows me, sees me for who I really am, and believes in my worth? What qualities have characterized these relationships, and what can I learn from them about the kind of relationships I want to have in the future?
• Who am I closest to right now? Who would I like to have a closer relationship with, and where would I like a little more distance? What would it look like to take more ownership of my existing relationships?
• How would I like to connect with others here at Dartmouth? How can I create opportunities to build these connections with others?

Try This (Wellbeing Practices)

• Stay connected with the people most important in your life
• Experiment with new ways to connect while social distancing
• Broaden your social circle by building authentic relationships across differences

Explore Further (Dartmouth Resources)

• Get involved with the many organizations and events at Dartmouth
• Stay connected with the SWC through our Virtual Student Wellness Center

As you build more authentic connections in your life, we encourage you to reflect on the questions above – maybe by talking them through with someone you trust – and pick a practice to try over the next couple weeks. We’ll continue this exploration with our fourth pathway: Acting Intentionally in two weeks. Until next time…

Take care and be well,
Todd