“Let your worth be measured by the love you give, the kindness you share, and the positive impact you have on the world.” – Unknown

Welcome back to the Student Wellness Center’s Winter of Inspiring Intention! As we continue our journey into exploring intentional living (and how to inspire others to do the same), we want to turn our attention towards purposefully creating a kind and accepting relationship with our bodies.  

Embracing a body-neutral mindset is one way to shift the focus from unrealistic beauty standards to a more neutral and accepting attitude.  It’s a middle ground between body positivity and body negativity (see note) where instead of embracing full and complete body-love, we work towards a more appreciative and non-judgmental stance. “Body neutrality places an emphasis on what your body is capable of, not what it looks like.” – Viren Swami  

Embodying body neutrality is not only about how you perceive your own body but also about promoting a positive and neutral attitude towards bodies in general. Here are some ways to inspire body neutrality for yourself and others:

1. Practice gratitude for what your body can do – Take a moment each day to appreciate the strength, flexibility, and resilience your body provides. Whether it’s the ability to walk, dance, or even just breathe deeply, acknowledging and celebrating your body’s capabilities can shift your perspective towards a more positive and neutral relationship with your physical self.

• Try: Rather than engaging in exercise solely for the purpose of changing your body, focus on activities that bring you joy and make you feel good. Movement of any kind has benefits for our bodies and mind. The best movement is the one you will stick with! Try out our Yoga for EveryBODY class as one new way to embrace joyful movement.

2. Practice self-compassion – When you catch yourself making critical comments about your body, pause and reframe those thoughts with kindness. Treat yourself as you would a friend, offering words of encouragement and understanding. Developing a more compassionate inner dialogue can contribute to a healthier and more neutral relationship with your body

• Try: Let yourself be guided through a Mini Self-Compassion Break when you need help with a reframe.

3. Offer Compliments Beyond Appearance: When complimenting others, focus on qualities and actions that go beyond physical appearance. Acknowledge acts of kindness, creativity, and other non-appearance-related strengths to reinforce the idea that worth is not solely determined by looks.

4. Challenge Diet Culture Language: Be mindful of the language you use when talking about bodies and diets, both your own and others’. Notice the tendency to discuss the latest fad diet, how many calories are in something, or the notion that eating less is somehow better. 

• Try: Shift the conversation to the importance of nourishing the body with yummy foods, engaging in movement that feels good, and prioritizing self-compassion for mental health.

5. Celebrate Diversity: Embrace and celebrate the diversity of body shapes, sizes, and abilities. Recognize that there is no one “ideal” body, and beauty comes in many forms. By appreciating and acknowledging the uniqueness of all bodies, you contribute to a more inclusive and accepting environment.

• Try: Dust off your Dartmouth Bystander Initiative (DBI) skills and take action when you hear/see hurtful language or actions that contribute to body shaming. 

Everyday we have the opportunity to embrace self-acceptance and inspire a community of kindness and acceptance for all bodies. We invite you to embark on this revolutionary journey towards greater body freedom, and know that you don’t have to do it alone: 

Resources to support your relationship with body image and food:
1. Nutrition and Eating Well at Dartmouth
2. Nutritional Wellness Team
3. SWC Wellness Check-Ins

Note: While body positivity and body neutrality each has its own value, the article Body Positivity vs. Body Neutrality, from VeryWell Mind, posits how taking a dual approach to our bodies may be best.

“Inspiring Intention” asks us to set clear intentions and lead an intentional life. This week we focus on finding and accessing clarity, which serves as a strong foundation for us to live a purpose fueled life. Oftentimes we are caught in a cycle of deliberating and ruminating a path or deciding a means; “should I do X or Y?” It’s akin to choosing a means of transportation before deciding our location or purpose of travel. Should I take the coach or drive to NYC? Getting clarity on the outcomes and purpose of our visit, makes the choice of how to get there effortless. Here is a 3 step process you can follow so you can enjoy the journey instead of being caught up in decision paralysis: 

1. Centering ourselves – Before we chart our journey and travel path, being grounded is essential. This can be as simple as taking three gentle deep breaths, finding a quiet and distraction free environment, and/or engaging in a mindfulness-meditation practice. 

2. Mark the destination – Where do you want to go? What is the outcome you are working towards? A centered state of being allows us to identify and set a destination. Working on an assignment is different from writing a 500 word first draft. Once we get specific and know our destination, we can start to find paths that can get us there. 

3. Connect with your purpose – Why are you taking this journey? Remembering and articulating (and perhaps even writing down) why we are working towards a particular outcome can help us prioritize and make better decisions. Oftentimes current tasks and projects are part of a larger overarching goal. Consider asking yourself: How are my current priorities aligned with my long term goals and aspirations? For example, reminding yourself that mastering a certain topic or concept is essential to a stronger graduate school application can make finding time to study easier. 

Identifying if we’re going to JFK to catch a flight instead of Brooklyn to spend a weekend with friends can make it easier to choose a mode of transportation. Centering ourselves, identifying our destination and connecting with our purpose is a process to get more clarity and live more intentionally. 

“Every journey begins with the first step of articulating the intention, and then becoming the intention.” ― Bryant McGill

“Inspiring Intention” is grounded in the idea that when we embody our greatest hopes and dreams, we “plant the seeds for change” in our communities. Showing ourselves self-compassion and acceptance enables us to set clear and positive intentions that lead us closer towards the life we want to be living. Let’s normalize leading purposeful and intentional lives and inspire others to do the same.

Let your heart’s compass guide you through these suggested steps:

1. Carve out time for quiet introspection. Setting aside time for quiet introspection turns our attention away from what’s being asked of us and instead provides us the space to ask what we need for ourselves in the present moment. What is one way that you can find space from the expectations and pressures that we internalize as noisy thoughts and emotions? Is it on a walk? In meditation? Doing art?

2. Have a clear focus on what you want. Once you are in a space where you can focus, tune into yourself, and check in with your core values, examine what matters most to you and what kind of life you want to be living. What direction do you want to be heading from here? 

3. Set specific intentions for where you want to grow. Bring to mind the 7 Roots of Wellness: Intellectual, Financial, Spiritual, Social, Emotional, Environmental, Physical. Identify if there are specific areas you want to grow in or presently address. Which next steps best get you to where you want to go? 

4. Embody intentionality. Carefully examine your identified next steps and notice what external or internal support, if any, is needed. What additional tools, resources, or help do you need to make your journey possible? 

5. Strengthen your self-awareness for times you feel lost. Practices like journaling, meditation, and building self-compassion help us pay close attention to thoughts, feelings, and actions in the present moment. By checking in regularly with our intentions, we are sure to stay the course. What routines and practices support you reaching your long-term goals?

6. Inspire intention: Recognize the stages others are at on their journey, and encourage them to keep moving forward with self-awareness and purpose at the helm. What deliberate action(s) can you take as an individual to help others live more according to their values?

Chart your course with your heart as your compass and your dreams as waypoints. Through deliberate and clear intentions, we not only take care of ourselves and reach our goals, but encourage others in our lives to do the same. Consequently, we can lead a life that is not only intentional, but also inspiring. Together, we can commit to a culture of care that leads to a fuller sense of wellbeing and purpose for all.

“The heart knows the way. Run in that direction.”

Rumi

Dear Dartmouth,

Happy New Year!  We hope this message finds you well and filled with hopeful energy. As you navigate through winter term (and beyond), it can be essential to take a moment to reflect on the power of intention and how it can shape your experiences.

Different from New Year’s resolutions, intention is often more about the broader, underlying purpose or direction you want to set for yourself. It is a guiding force, based on the way you want to live, that influences your actions and decisions.  When you set clear and positive intentions, you are essentially setting the “compass of the heart” to guide you toward your highest aspirations and living a life more aligned with who you want to be.  

This winter term, we ask not only what it means to create your own intentions, but what it means to Inspire Intention in others as well. The best way to inspire intention in others is to demonstrate intentionality in your own actions and decisions. When others see you living with purpose and commitment, it can inspire them to do the same.  

To get started, we invite you to reflect on the following questions and actions to help set the stage for your own journey towards Inspiring Intention:

1. What are my greatest hopes and aspirations for myself? (think beyond outcome-based goals and more towards guiding principles)
   
   *Make a one-on-one wellness check-in to talk through these big questions with another.  
   
   
2. What do I want to see more of in my life?
   
   *Join us every Monday for our Mindfulness Drop Ins to reflect on this with others.
   
   
3. What type of mindset do I want to embrace?
   
   *Relax in the SWC Tranquility Room as you mull this over.
   
   
4. How do I want to cultivate meaningful relationships?
   
   *Revisit (or stay up to date) with our Sexual Violence Prevention Project (SVPP) trainings.
   
   
5. What type of relationship with alcohol or other substances do I want to have?
   *Make a Brief Alcohol Screening and Intervention for College Students (BASICS) session to gain  more clarity around this.
   
   
6. What are the deliberate actions I can take as an individual to help others also live more according to their values?
   
   *Set a dedication for others in our free, all-levels yoga classes each week.
   

In times of challenge, let intention be your anchor, grounding you in your purpose and reminding you of the possibilities that lie ahead. When faced with choices, let intention be your guide, helping you make decisions that align with your values and long-term vision.

Wishing you a winter infused with intention, possibility, and inspiration,

Your Friends at the Student Wellness Center

“I like you as you are

Exactly and precisely

I think you turned out nicely

And I like you as you are”

– Fred Rogers ’50

In our last week examining Brave Connections, we will explore self-acceptance as an act of courage. Fred Rogers ’50 wrote the song “I Like You As You Are” (1968) and many others to help the child in each of us grasp just how worthy and lovable we are for doing nothing sensational other than being ourselves. But a lesser-known fact is that even the amazing Mister Rogers himself wrestled with self-acceptance, and it is believed that the songs he wrote about self-respect were indeed personal mantras. As we stride bravely into the unfamiliar territory of self-acceptance, know that this undertaking will require us to face and embrace our true selves—all the strengths and vulnerabilities that come with— without judgment or criticism. Herein lies our true challenge.

There are many ways to practice self-acceptance. Here are just a few to get you started:

1. Face vulnerabilities and practice non-judgement. It takes courage to acknowledge our shortfalls. But it takes even more to face them with curiosity and open-mindedness. Practicing non-judgment ultimately means we are refraining from labeling thoughts or experiences as “good” or “bad” and are instead approaching them with an acceptance and a willingness to explore. Try this Headspace suggestion for exploring and overcoming Doubt. Or this one for Manifesting Compassion. Use a SWC guided meditation practice to Label Thoughts as they arise. By using the language of non-judgement, we can silence our inner critics and kickstart the empowering process of loving ourselves unconditionally.

2. Challenge societal expectations. Recognize how societal expectations (i.e. gender roles, educational achievement, career success, physical appearance, etc.) can be imposed on us by our loved ones and the larger spheres of influence around us. These standards can be internalized and pose as damaging to our feelings of self-worth as they are often unrealistic and force upon us unrealistic ideals of perfection. Defying conformity is not only brave but an essential way for us to honor ourselves authentically. Release comparison. Present yourself honestly to others. Cherish your unique journey.

3. Choose love over fear. Ultimately, self-acceptance is a choice we make. And while everyone’s journey to self-acceptance is different, one thing remains true: the decision to love ourselves is a harder one to make than succumbing to fear and self-criticism. Though choosing to embrace self-love and humanity is a difficult endeavor, Fred conveyed its significance in his address to Dartmouth graduates: “I’m talking about that part of you that knows that life is far more than anything you can ever see, or hear, or touch. That deep part of you, that allows you to stand for those things, without which humankind cannot survive. Love that conquers hate. Peace that rises triumphant over war. And justice that proves more powerful than greed.”

Self-acceptance is a transformative journey that empowers you to live fully and authentically. Along the way, you may bolster your emotional wellbeing, resilience, and your ability to connect more genuinely with those around you. As we dive into finals week, you may find yourself under greater pressure than normal. Now is as good a time as any to practice accepting yourself fully, no matter what happens externally. And if it helps, try repeating the wise and centering words of Mister Rogers: “I like you as you are.”

Mindfulness and the RAIN practice (Recognize, Allow, Investigate, Nurture) can play a significant role in fostering brave connections by promoting self-awareness, empathy, and a willingness to engage with vulnerability. Here are four actionable steps you can take to integrate mindfulness and the RAIN practice into your journey of building brave connections:

1. Embrace Mindful Self-Reflection: Start by setting aside a few minutes each day for mindful self-reflection. This practice helps you become more aware of your emotions, reactions, and biases. By understanding your own inner world, you lay the foundation for building genuine connections with others.

2. Apply the RAIN Meditation Practice to Tough Interactions. When facing challenging interactions, use the RAIN practice to navigate through them:
   1. Recognize: Take a moment to acknowledge your feelings, thoughts, and bodily sensations.
   2. Allow: Give yourself permission to experience these emotions without judgment or suppression.
   3. Investigate: Dig deeper into the underlying emotions and triggers, gaining insight into your responses.
   4. Nurture: Offer yourself compassion, recognizing that vulnerability is part of being human.

3. Practice Empathetic Listening with Mindful Presence: In your conversations, practice empathetic listening through mindfulness. Be fully present as the speaker shares, focusing on their words, emotions, and body language. By doing so, you create a safe environment where others can express themselves authentically.

4. Embrace Mindful Bravery Beyond Comfort Zones: Utilize mindfulness to navigate unfamiliar territory. Notice any resistance or fear that arises when connecting with individuals different from you. Through mindfulness, acknowledge these feelings and choose to step into discomfort with an open mind, nurturing brave connections.

Integrating mindfulness and the RAIN practice into your daily life helps to equip you with emotional intelligence, self-awareness, and empathy. These qualities can support you to establish authentic connections that are grounded in understanding and authenticity.

“Remind yourself that if you think you already understand how someone feels or what they are trying to say, it is a delusion. Remember a time when you were sure you were right and then discovered one little fact that changed everything. There is always more to learn.” – Douglas Stone

Hey Y’all! My name is Ellie Anders Thompson and I am the MultiFaith Advisor at The William Jewett Tucker Center at Dartmouth. At the Tucker Center we focus on helping students engage with Spiritual Wellness. My interfaith work helps students develop the skillset and the knowledge base to become interfaith leaders here on campus, but also as a professional skillset for the workforce. Spiritual Wellness is often defined as the journey to find meaning and purpose in your life. Through that journey, however, we might become exposed to beliefs different than our own. Today, we will look at how to communicate bravely with others and engage in interfaith dialogue. When you engage in interfaith dialogue you have the incredible opportunity to be in relationship with other folks on the journey with you. 

Here are the ways that Brave Communications can happen through increasing interfaith dialogue:

1. Interfaith dialogue begins by building respect for different identities. We talk about how everyone has the right to their worldview identity, to express it, and to have it accommodated. But that is just the beginning of interfaith because once we create places and spaces where respect is the norm, this is when meaningful relationships begin to be built. Relationships between people who fundamentally disagree about some things, and find other common interests or values have a rich depth. When those folks model that relationship to the communities within their tradition or worldview it creates opportunity for those groups to work together toward a common civic good. This in turn makes our society stronger.

2. Explore your spiritual identity through practice. Each one of our worldviews, by this I mean our religious, spiritual, or intentionally secular identities, are made up of different beliefs, behaviors, and communities of belonging. Developing your spiritual well-being is the discovery of the different routines you will choose to engage with on a regular basis. For example, a regular meditation or prayer practice, and the frequency of your practice. In interfaith, you see others making different choices about their habits and you can appreciate and learn from them. You can have ‘holy envy’ or a deep appreciation for an element of a practice from a worldview other than your own. Sometimes you might even choose to try out a prayer or meditation style that isn’t from your tradition to have a greater understanding of other’s experiences. Because you are learning alongside others in interfaith relationships you have interesting glimpses into the behaviors of your friends.

3. Don’t shy away from having challenging conversations about beliefs. It really is one of my favorite things in the world to hear a new perspective, something I’ve never considered, or a new reflection on something. For example, during an interfaith dinner last year, we had conversation about ‘life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness”. It came down to a conversation about the difference between joy versus happiness. All the participants in the discussion had this one way of thinking about joy, but eventually another person spoke up and shared a perspective I had never heard about their idea of happiness. It was so interesting, and I asked where their perspective came from because it was completely new to me. I was grateful they shared and gave us all a new angle to see from. It wouldn’t have happened if they hadn’t been there to share. It was an opportunity to weigh my beliefs about happiness and joy and evaluate the impact that was having on my thinking and behavior.

Applications are now open for the Interfaith Alternative Spring Break trip to Washington D.C. Students will travel to Washington D.C. to engage with individuals and organizations doing interfaith work around social issues the group has identified as shared values across their variety of worldviews. Participants will come to see themselves as interfaith leaders who will effect change for a more pluralistic society.  Exploring worldviews can be a continual journey toward your spiritual wellness. It’s made even more rich by traveling with others. We hope to see your application! 

Better Together,

Ellie

“Vulnerability is the birthplace of innovation, creativity, and change.” – Brene Brown

Welcome back to the Student Wellness Center’s Fall of Brave Connections! As we delve deeper into exploring the varied and different avenues of bravery, we are joined by Denva Nesbeth Jr. ‘24, who offers insights into how tapping into their strength of vulnerability has served as a personal source of creativity, connection, and purpose.

“I’ve been making music since summer 2017, but it was in late 2022 when I finally gained the courage and confidence to release music on all streaming platforms, and it’s been rewarding in more ways than I could have imagined. Music has been a big point of vulnerability for me because of the amount of confidence it takes to openly put your work out there. I can make an instrumental I love, and it can exist as just a file on my iPad, but once it’s out in the world, it’s not directly mine anymore. There is a level of uncertainty in how it will be received. 

Here are my suggestions for overcoming that uncertainty, connecting with your creative side, and being more authentic in your expressions:

1. Continue working on your craft because over time you get better at what you’re doing. I mainly started playing beats for my friends 2-3 years after I’d been working on music, so that time allowed me to gradually improve, find my sound, and make things that I felt comfortable sharing.

2. Know that getting feedback from loved ones will only make your creativity better. If they enjoy it, it can give you further motivation to keep going. If they give some criticism, be open to hearing it because they can provide a perspective you never considered, which can expand your capabilities. When I started playing my stuff for friends and family, they were the ones that kept telling me to put something out and not keeping songs in the vault. Those responses were definitely a big catalyst in me getting the confidence to release my music out on all platforms.

3. Remember to not overthink because art is about how it makes you feel. I knew that “In the Stacks” would be the first song I would release because as soon as I hit play, it felt great and that’s all that matters.

Whether my music relaxes someone, soothes them as they meditate, puts them in a space of flow or focus, or hypes them up, I just want to make people’s day better. That’s the purpose of my music because that’s what it does for me. It alleviates stress, puts me in a place of flow, and provides a great feeling of fulfillment.

I’m grateful for the connections I’ve made through releasing my music and how it has further deepened the friendships I already have. Being open to the music within me had the beautiful ability to create a feeling of belonging and community with others who share similar interests. From making “In The Stacks” to “Reach Higher,” which touches different genres, to my upcoming album “Back in the Stacks,” it excites me to just continue making what I enjoy and I’m grateful for any person who listens.”

Written by Denva Nesbeth Jr. ‘24

Building Brave Spaces is the work of everyone. Whether you’re the captain of your sports team, leading your greek community, or coordinating a group assignment. 

Our nervous system instinctively seeks safety and comfort. When it senses danger, the amygdala triggers a response that affects our reasoning. For instance, a fellow classmate fearing their idea might be dismissed may choose not to speak up. Yet, by gradually building resilience to fear and discomfort, the nervous system and body-mind adjusts, and speaking up becomes more natural.

Prioritizing acts of courage and bravery lays the groundwork for psychological safety. In educational settings, these acts might involve sharing personal stories, initiating challenging conversations, or supporting learning for others. These actions strengthen our emotional and psychological fortitude, creating an environment where courage fosters true safety.

Steps to Establishing a Brave Space & Environment:

1. Acknowledge Diverse Perspectives: Understand that each individual brings unique experiences and viewpoints. Recognize and accept these differences, acknowledging the necessity to overcome biases.

2. Set Clear Expectations: Before conversations begin, establish expectations and ground rules. Allow marginalized voices and those with less power to speak first, and ensure equal opportunities for everyone to contribute.

3. Foster Personal Connections: Develop genuine interest in others and connect with them on a personal level. As a student leader, finding time to meet individually and build personal connections can ultimately encourage open communication.

4. Cultivate Empathy: Radical acceptance and attentive listening are crucial components to cultivating empathy. Address issues with a problem-solving mindset and ensure meetings or group interactions uplift participants and make them feel empowered.

Building Brave Spaces isn’t easy, whether it involves sharing experiences or confronting biases. However, as members of the Dartmouth Community, when we commit to diversity and inclusion efforts, courage becomes second nature. With persistent efforts, a space emerges where every voice is valued and appreciated.

Article adapted from: https://www.dalecarnegie.com/blog/create-a-brave-dei-spaces-in-workplace/ 

For more on Braves Spaces see: 

• Arao, & Clemens, K. (2013). 135From Safe Spaces to Brave Spaces: A New Way to Frame Dialogue Around Diversity and Social Justice. In The Art of Effective Facilitation (1st ed., pp. 135–150). Routledge. https://doi.org/10.4324/9781003447580-11
• Speaking up on campus doesn’t mean shouting down others – by  Sian Beilock and Phil Hanlon