Who Killed JFK? : Some Dude

By: Somebody

We all know JFK died, right?  But did you know that some guy killed him?  Totally wicked!  Apparently this guy waits on a hill with a gun and shoots JFK in the head.  KABLOOM! So who was this dude? Apparently he was some bad-ass motherfucker who didn’t like the president for freeing the slaves. He was soooo pissed about that.  He must have had  some slave stock portfolio, or something.  I sort of feel bad for this killer dude.  I heard from a friend of mine that he had already tried to kill JFK some months earlier in a state sanctioned duel.  I thought he was upset about the treasurer or vice-president or some other important shit, but my friend was like, nah, he was totally trying to impress some chick.  Talk about bad ideas! She was some Hollywood starlet that he had never met!  Not to mention, she was TOTAL jailbait, bro.  Anyways,  once she heard about this dude shooting the president in her honor, she threw a HUGE fit.  Hah, women!  Why was this guy spending so much time trying to kill JFK anyways?  If he had only waited a month or two, he might have gotten food poisoning or stuck in a bathtub or something.  You never know, shit happens.  My point is, that dude totally needs to get LAID, bro.