Three Classes Every ’15 Should Take This Fall

Welcome ’15s! You’ve had a while or so to get settled here at Dartmouth and we hope it’s going smoothly. Sure, you’ve banged on the door of President Kim’s house asking if they still had beer the first three nights of orientation, dyed all of your clothes a greenish purple in the wash, called FoCo, well, anything other than FoCo and mistook your UGA for your roommate. (Come to think of it, that big hug and talk about all the great sleepovers you were going to have may have sent the wrong message.)

But we understand, not everything is easy in the beginning, particularly picking classes: the “Eeny, Meeny, Miny, Mo” approach may not have been the most effective for deciphering the ORC. Or the “Closed my eyes and see where my finger lands on this page” approach… and no, telling someone you pass on the green to pick 3 numbers between 1 and 692 is not a good way to gain student insight into what course load may be best suited to you. That’s why we here on the Jack-O-Lantern wanted to provide some friendly advice on classes that will help all you ’15s adjust to life on campus.

1. Introductory Greek
Study of Greek grammar, syntax and vocabulary accompanied by a drill period covering all fraternities and sororities on campus and how to recognize them, where they are located on campus, and why shmobs are totally, completely, unacceptable. The class will cover both verbal pronunciations of full names, abbreviations and letters. It’s all greek to you? Take this course!

2. Architecture I
This course will go over the finer points of buildings on campus, their histories and builders’ visions with an intense focus on what doors can physically be opened and what doors cannot. Attention that one ’15 I saw cry in frustration in front of Dartmouth Hall? This one’s for you.

3. Beginning Music Theory
Ever wondered what sounds issue from Baker Tower? Unable to distinguish a common tune when students sway to and fro, mumbling every other memorable word in the Alma Mater? This class explores the organization and meaning behind every sound on campus (get ready to attend each and every a cappella performance on campus.) Remember, there’s no better way to make friends than a sound understanding and memorization of the second stanza of ‘Dear Old Dartmouth’ … and one or two restraining orders from the Aires.

Well there you have it ’15s. No freshman seminar, you say? There’s plenty of time for that later! As long as you have the literary capacity to understand Dr. Seuss, you’ll be okay here (and you can find that somewhere in the graduation requirements.) This is the best way to learn your way around Dartmouth, hand-picked for you by the Jack-O-Lantern. We have your best interest at heart! Seriously.