In the Beginning, the First Draft was a formless void of darkness and procrastination, until finally God said, “Let there be light.” And there was light. And God saw that the light was good and handed it in. Unfortunately, the Professor did not see that the light was good.
You need to expand your ideas. Don’t be afraid to take risks.
On the Second Draft, God added the Sky to separate the waters from the waters. And God saw that it was mediocre.
Be more specific. Show don’t tell. Give more details about this so-called ‘water’ and ‘sky.’
On the Third Draft, God created dry land and vegetation. And God was really sure it was good this time.
Organize your thoughts more. This will help your structure. I don’t know where this ‘land’ thing is going right now.
On the Fourth Draft, God added the Sun and the Moon to separate day and night. And God saw He was just bullshitting.
That ‘Sun’ and ‘Moon’ thing has some real potential, but push it farther.
On the Fifth Draft, God added living creatures of every kind. And God saw that He had no idea what He was doing anymore.
Much better, but you need to clean it up a bit.
On the Sixth Draft, God created human beings in His image. And God saw that He was finished with the universe and all its multitude. And the Professor looked over all His work. All that was and ever would be.
Okay, now So What?
Then God accidentally rested through the deadline.
-Ben Pundyk ’16
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And the Professor didn’t realize that she should have said “further” instead of “farther”?
Is there something wrong, officer? I was simply making a grammar joke. As you know, “farther” generally indicates physical distance, while “further” indicates figurative distance. Usually the expression is “push it further,” however, by choosing to say “farther” I created another meaning in which I meant to literally push the Sun farther from the Moon. If making jokes is illegal, then take me away.
HI NICE PICTURE OF GOD KIM C