I love my new Google Glass. It gives me the power to do anything with simple hands-free voice commands. It lets me surf the web on the go. It lets me send texts without taking out my phone. It even lets me take photos and video whenever I want. But best of all, it lets me see everyone’s demons.
For instance, when I tell Google Glass “macada av’re dasdumna,” I get a crystal-clear glimpse into the demon nightmare underlying all things. In this “Cloud” appears the sins of every man, woman and child, and the hideous demons they create.
Sins like envy, greed, and forgetting to say “Okay, Glass” each create their own unique demon. With Glass, I can even see my personal demons, and use its 50+ voice commands to appeal to their mercy in vain. With my on-the-go lifestyle, that definitely helps.
Wherever I am, I can hang out with sinners across the world during birthdays, dance recitals, and other feasts for demonkind. I can post videos of my friends’ and loved ones’ demons to YouTube instantly, making tasks like blackmail so much easier. These sinful tasks create new demons, which in turn tightens the demon grasp on our mortal souls. The possibilities are endless, unlike our doomed lives at the hands of our demons.
Snowboarding, hang-gliding, even cooking in your own home, your demons cannot be escaped. But with my new Google Glass, they can be recorded, researched, and tweeted about at the sound of my voice. Or at least at the illusion of my voice, since my mouth is the mouth of my demons.
Glass is the tool of the future, perfect for the impending war between demons and humankind. When our eyes glaze over and become vestigial flesh pods like a cave salamander’s, Glass will be there to help us look upon our self-made tormentors the demons. Glass will help us fight, though we cannot win.
Glass even has five unique colors to choose from, the vanity of which provides ample feast for our demons. It’s strong, light, and fit for any occasion. But not funerals. Oh sweet Jesus, don’t wear them to funerals.
-MG ’14
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wow, google glass really makes it easy to access all the activities, easy access to the Internet only using sound, cool is really suitable for the pleasure of traveling. Thanks for review
wow, google glass really makes it easy to access all the activities, easy access to the Internet only using sound, cool is really suitable for the pleasure of traveling. Thanks for review