Ryan Lochte Answers the Big Questions

1. Are you worried about big data?
   1. No my penis is ok. Except for a little syph. Ja feel? Jeah.
2. Thoughts on cultural appropriation?
   1. Jeah.
3. What’s the cube root of 491169069?
   1. 789. Get it? Cause 7 ate 9. Jeah.
4. Wow, that was impressive. Seven squared?
   1. 789. Get it? Cause 7 ate 9. Jeah.
5. What do you think of Taylor Swift’s new album?
   1. I’d tap that. I like that color. Squirrels. Jeah.
6. Who do you think you’ll vote for in 2016?
   1. Obama. Me. Jeah.
7. FKM: Ryan Lochte, Michael Phelps, Lamp
   1. Oh fuck lamp for sure. Jeah. Kill ryan lochte. He stole my name. Jeah. Who’s michael?

-KE ’18