Acceptance Speech

I’m proud to accept the Marketing Professional of the Year Award and there are so many people that I would like to thank. My boss for pushing me to succeed, my friends for supporting me every step of the way, my parents for raising me to be the man I am today, and of course the haggard ghost of Benjamin Franklin, who has haunted me since I was a young boy.

I guess you could say I’ve been preparing for this job my whole life. Ever since I was little I was always more interested in pretending I was making posters to show off my make-believe business, while long dead founding father Ben Franklin cast his unearthly gaze toward me, instead of just playing sports or action figures with the other boys. Then as I got older you might say it was Ben’s bony hand on my shoulder guiding me or maybe my own sense of vision, but I knew I wanted to study marketing.

It takes determination to succeed in this world, determination and just following your gut. You don’t rebrand one of the biggest fast food companies on the planet, the great Mickey D’s, without knowing when to listen to your gut. Ol’ Ben taught me that when he would point to his bony insides through the ethereal rags he wore and told me that “The ideas are here my child. Right here. When the crows feed this is where they will go first.”

The only other day that rivals this in importance for me is my graduation. I could see how proud all my family members were of me. Even my Dad, strong ex-marine that he is, shed a tear. Hell, I remember on that day Ben rose up into the sky and let out a blood curdling scream that ruptured the heavens; henceforth large drawings of his greatest inventions fell from the sky and warped like origami to form the phrase “Congratulations, my greatest disciple.” It was truly a special day for me.

Finally ladies and gentlemen I would like to say that I haven’t reached all of my goals at this company. No sir I have big plans going forward in the world of marketing and I hope you’ll all join with me. Now as Ben comes up to the stage I want to thank you all again for helping me realize my dreams. With this knife I drop my blood onto this contract, signifying that Ben and I can become one being as he always planned. As his ghostly form envelops me, the ritual can be complete and FINALLY WE ARE ONE, WE ARE THE LIGHTNING THAT YOU CANNOT TAME. TOGETHER WE ARE STRONG. TOGETHER WE ARE THE FUTURE. TOGETHER WE WILL BUILD A NEW WORLD. WE LOVE YOU MOM AND DAD.

 

–JS ’16