Kate Hudson's Colon: Exclusive Web Content from JOGUE

Here at JOGUE, we’ve seen celebrity trends that have come and gone. Remember boot cut jeans, fedoras or worst of all, the #nomakeup selfie (yikes!)? If there’s anything we’ve learned over the years, it’s one thing –sometimes beauty isn’t always skin-deep. Occasionally, it’s what’s on the inside that counts. So in this interview, we’re talking organs, ladies! We’ve tracked down Dr. Rhea, the mastermind behind Kate Hudson’s flawless colon to hear all about how he did it!

J: So can you tell us a little bit about how you came up with the idea to reconstruct Kate Hudson’s colon?

Dr. Rhea: when you think about Kate Hudson, America’s sweetheart, there’s fierceness behind her. But I think it was Paris Hilton who said it best when she said in 2003, “Can’t I just not pooh?” Darling, it’s been 12 years and we still hadn’t solved this problem! So when Kate came to me asking me to help her, I had one thing on my mind. I looked her in the eye and said, “Darling, there’s about to be a new Hudson Canal in town.”

J: What exactly did you do?

Dr. Rhea: Let’s just say she’s clean as a whistle now. Naomi Watts’ agent has been calling me up nonstop.

J: Huh. I heard a report saying that you think that colon reconstruction is the new face of feminism. We care a lot about women here at our publication. Can you expand on this?

Dr. Rhea: Women these days are expected to run a family and go to work, be self sufficient in every way. They don’t have time for silly things like running to the restroom. Time is money, and when Kate Hudson is in the bathroom and not on the red carpet, the fashion industry suffers.

J: Wait, did you actually completely remov–

Dr. Rhea: Darling, prompting women to rethink everything about themselves is the best gift that I can give them. They should not have to accept who they are, but instead ask themselves, ‘how might I be better?’

J: Wait, what?