Air Bud Diagnosed With CTE

The legal owners of beloved sports icon Buddy, known for his eponymous Air Bud documentaries, have released a statement that says the dog was found to have signs of chronic traumatic encephalopathy, (better known as CTE,) a form of neurodegenerative disease caused by prolonged periods of mild head trauma. Though the diagnosis may not come as a surprise, it certainly won’t come as a comfort to Buddy’s fans still reeling from his untimely death a couple of months ago. Though the Department of Veterans Affairs and Boston University have identified the presence of the disease in 98% of the ex-NFL players’ brains and in 79% of all football players brains they’ve examined, this is the first instance the disease has been diagnosed in a football-playing golden retriever.

Air Bud’s legal owners, the Framm family, said in a statement, “At first we thought the aggressive behavior, impulse control problems, and desire to run into traffic was part of being a dog. Who could have guessed his manic, homicidal, and suicidal tendencies, in addition to his grisly death, was fueled by a brain disease induced by his long-term involvement in football.”

Josh Framm, Air Bud’s teammate, best friend, and owner added, “The only silver lining is that everyone did what they could, and there was no commissioner of a national league of football teams who repeatedly denied the link between CTE and repetitive head trauma. If this link was more public knowledge, there’s no way in H E double hockey sticks that my parents would let me, let alone my dog play youth football.”

Since the disease is induced by multiple instances of mild head trauma rather than concussions, it’s difficult to determine when exactly CTE took ahold of Air Bud’s brain, especially since the disease can’t be diagnosed until after the player has died. At 10 years old, the diagnosis makes Air Bud the youngest reported case of CTE. Previously the youngest reported case was a human 17 year old (126 in dog years).

In the wake of the Framm’s announcement Air Bud’s 8 children known as the the Air Buddies, also released a statement. “Our father was a role model for dogs and humans alike. He was going up against guys literally 4 times his size, all while trying to avoid two Russian stereotypes who were constantly trying to kidnap him into their circus. The example he set encouraged kids to start playing youth football, terriers to professional wrestling, and monkeys to try hockey. I’m sure one day one of those kids will end up like he did. By end up like, we of course mean end up successful, not end up dying a slow, demented death. We hope that by donating his brain to the NFL for research, they will be able to offer immediate solutions with the kind of transparency and genuine concern for players and their families that the league is known for.”

-WP ’16