Dartmouth’s Most Inconvenient Library Sinkholes, Ranked

Sinkholes are always a pain. Luckily, most of Dartmouth’s library sinkholes are pretty easy to avoid, as long as you’re careful. There are, however, a few sinkholes that somewhat detract from the quality of the library. Here I’ve compiled a ranked list of the most annoying sinkholes. I really hope that the College addresses this issue soon, because I’m tired of jumping over these things every day.

6. First Floor Berry sinkhole

This one isn’t too bad because you can jump over it if you get a running start. The only real hassle is when someone doesn’t jump far enough and ends up in the hole. As you can imagine, getting them out is a major production.

5. Novack vending machines sinkhole

This sinkhole isn’t too big, but it made the list because it has caused the ground under the vending machines to become structurally unsound. Whenever you use a vending machine, it sort of wobbles around like it might fall over, so you need to be really quick. It’s quite nerve-wracking, to be honest. Once I was getting a snack and all of a sudden the vending machine started tipping like crazy, so I totally forgot to collect my change. Call me stingy, but I really wanted those 12 cents.

4. Rauner sinkhole

Most people haven’t heard about this one, but it is somewhat problematic because of all the rare books. A few of the books have gotten swallowed up already, but luckily they weren’t the important ones.

3. 4fb sinkhole

People are really upset about the 4fb sinkhole because it has caused most of the desks to collapse. The seating up there is really limited now. There are still a few intact desks at the far end of the floor, but they fill up in about two seconds. The College really needs to fix this one before midterms.

2. KAF line sinkhole

This one is super inconvenient, to say the least. It is at the very front of the KAF line, so when you order you need to sort of shout across the sinkhole. Then, you throw your ID across the hole to the cashier so she can scan it. After a while, you get used to catching your drink when the barista throws it across the hole, but it’s frankly not an ideal situation. For example, last week I didn’t shout loud enough and ended up with the tofu wrap instead of the tofu tub. It just wasn’t the same.

1. Tower Room sinkhole

I once dropped my pencil into this sinkhole. I tried to get it out but I couldn’t quite reach for it, and before I knew it I had lost sight of it. Here’s the really tragic part: It was my only pencil that still had a good eraser. I had to finish my problem set with a pen, which, as you can imagine, was a total mess.

Hopefully you’ll now have an idea of which sinkholes to avoid, just because they’re such a pain in the ass to deal with. The College really should fix this problem soon because I need that pencil back ASAP.