A Letter to the Dartmouth Administration: The O-Farm is cool and all, but I think it’s about time that we start farming other letters

Dear Dartmouth administration,

While I truly appreciate all the hard work of the Dartmouth O-Farm, and I acknowledge all the good that it has done, I believe it is time that we start farming other letters. I understand that this is an unpopular opinion, and trust me I get it, the O-Farm has been incredibly important for students on campus; where else are they going to get their Os from to use in their various writing assignments. I understand why, in decades past, we chose O as the letter to farm. It is only one of the five vowels we have in the entire alphabet, and it certainly isn’t the least important one (I’m looking at you, U). Howefer, despite all the good that it has done in the past, I believe that it is imperatife that we start farming other letters.

Yoo see, we onlee haf a certain amoont of letters to ooze in anee gifen paper, and sinse we are not farming more, oos are soon going to roon oot. Bekos of tis, I need to ooze otter letters in mi sbilling to sai ta sam tings. Tair ar so mani raisans for oos afin otir littirs. Ow r wi soopoosad to formalat big idias in oos papars? Ow r wi soopoosad rit loof littirs to oor loofid ons. Ow r wi soopoosed to go on liffing lik tis? And most of all, I af to ask, for oot raison oo bik ta littir O? It not ian ta most oozed litter in ta alpabat!?  I gi u . Tis is   r  fr strati . I  ow p a  o  j s   si     a      O  I  a     f , a    o  f            a    o       o  . I  o     I    o   a     I   o                        o        . O                  oo  o     o    . O     o            o         o   .        o              o    o         o    .             o       .    o          o    O o       o       o        o           oo    ooo   o o o o o o o o o o o o .

o         ,

o                 o

 

-JG’20