Twas the Night Before GDXmas

Twas the night before GDXmas and all through the frat

Not a creature was stirring, not even a gnat

The white claws were put in the big fridge with care

With hopes that desperate 23s would be there

 

As the walls were covered in red wrapping paper

Douches with juuls kept creating mint vapor

The Christmas trap remixes bring merry cheer

Here by the door Abby’s friends won’t appear

 

While out on the lawn the pong game caused clatter

Were sisters that frat guys were failing to flatter

Freshman arrived in large shmobs from the choates

Taylor lost their fracket under piles of coats

 

As the night went on and the beer taps ran dry

Our Patron Saint Keggy arrived, with a twinkle in his eye

He had a broad face and a big toothy smile

He wore his white gloves, with his eccentric style

 

He began his speech, swirling a glass of punch

“You’ll be super hungover,” he said, “I have a small hunch

So take a couple Advil, a glass of water too

Because, damn kid I feel real bad for you”

Before he left, he banged thrice on his barrel

And thus is the end of the Keggy Christmas Carol

-JT ’23