In Order to Increase Anti-Establishment Appeal, Sanders Drops Out of Race

In a move that political analysts are calling a “keen” and “adept” strategic play, Bernie Sanders has dropped out of the presidential race. As pundit Sarah Kronsky writes on Twitter, “Anti-establishment voters want a new voice in the Oval Office, a voice that will stir things up. Running for president is bowing to the establishment, and the Sanders campaign knows it. They clearly have a finger to the pulse of the American voter.”

Although the new strategy has only just been announced this morning, it’s already generated a great deal of excitement among Sanders supporters. Tom Sleaven, who voted for Sanders in both the 2016 and 2020 New Hampshire primaries, voiced his approval to reporters. “Of course Bernie dropping out is a good thing. No president of mine will be elected through a presidential system, especially one that is corrupt! Bernie will change that when he’s president!”

Dropping out of the race also means that Sanders’ national campaign structure will be dissolved, a development that campaign manager Ben Howely describes as a “well-calculated pivot.” He told reporters, “In my new position as ‘not campaign manager anymore,’ I will play a key role in ensuring the success of Bernie’s dissolved presidential campaign.”

Pundits agree that this new development will make it even easier for Sanders supporters to not vote in the general election, something that they were planning to do even if he won the primary.

-GA ’21