First: We get it. We hate making these Decisions as much as you hate hearing them, probably, we assume. Unfortunately, this Reason and this other Reason make this Decision much out of our control.
We have put a lot of thought into these decisions. After this Committee who explores all of our Options learned on Thursday, we have come to another Logistical Decision. We immediately set about calculating the financial repercussions of this Decision, and spent three days writing this email to you to tell you about this Decision.
It is with a heavy heart that we must tell you the news that no one wants to hear, in as plain language as possible. You don’t want us dancing around the point. Because of these reasons, the college has decided that all big Decisions will be announced in the third paragraph of these emails.
This is the fourth paragraph. If you’re reading this, you’ve gone too far. The Decision was announced at the end of the third paragraph.
-CC ’21
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