“I’m Not Gonna Add My Name For Winter Term, Waitlists Don’t Work,” Says ‘23 Still Angry He Doesn’t Go To Yale

This past Tuesday afternoon, an email update from Dean Lively announced the opportunity for students assigned to only summer term to place their names on the waitlist for an on-campus winter term. While this update brought new-found hope to many members of the Dartmouth community, others remain skeptical. Tyler Brentworth ’23 is among those students, telling reporters, “Waitlists simply don’t work, like Yale still hasn’t told me where I stand and it’s been over a year.”

While most students rushed to add their names, Brentworth held back.“Yeah, it’s a rigged system which the administration is using to string along deserving students as some kind of sick joke,” he said. “I bet they take pleasure out of it, cruel bastards.” Brentworth, who applied early to Yale senior year of high school, claims he’s entirely disillusioned with waitlists. “I put my name down on that waitlist and then what? I lose out to a kid who probably didn’t crack 30 on his ACT?”

“I bet there isn’t even a list,” Brentworth continued. “They just tell you that to make you feel better as they put your application, or email, or whatever in a stack to rot.” When asked if he felt there was anything to do to better his chances, Brentworth scoffed, saying “Trust me, I’ve tried. Do they care that my parents could give generously to Davenpor — I mean, uh, South House? Not in the slightest. Fifty grand doesn’t mean anything to these people anymore, it’s so corrupt, man.”

-JK ’23