Instagram Introduces “Worst Enemies” List

Instagram, following the success of their “Close Friends” tab, which allows a user to cultivate a list of their closest friends, has rolled out its new groundbreaking feature: the “Worst Enemies” list.

App researcher Jennifer Wang explains the motivation behind the feature, citing criticism of social media interactions as overwhelmingly insincere. “We want social media to add to genuine interactions,” she states. “Gone are the days where you had to comment ‘brave’ under their swimsuit pics. Now you can just directly notify that person that you straight up don’t like them and everything they represent!”

Instagram has developed an intricate algorithm that will suggest users to add to your “Worst Enemies” list. This new algorithm will weigh factors such as how often you zoom into the background of their photos, how long you spend on their profiles only to not like or comment anything, your use of the passive-aggressive save, and, of course, how often you screenshot their posts to send to your friends’ group chat with a snarky comment.

The feature has been incredibly well-received by users all across the board. Lindsay Powers ’23 praised the new feature, stating, “You know, during Corona, it’s been really hard to make enemies. I’m stuck at home, and I don’t see anyone outside of my family. But I’m a messy bitch who lives for drama, and I need to add spice back into my life.”

At press time, Anshul Arora ’24 had similar praise for the innovative feature. “This new feature has really been helpful,” said Arora, “There’s a bunch of people who I only followed back out of obligation, but this is a perfect way to tell them how I really feel about them, Cousin Jerry.”      

-NS ’23 & JL ’24